A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just started seeing someone, I've known him for years and kept bumping into each other sporadically. Two years ago he was in a relationship of five years, around that time I was going through some stuff and I ended up sleeping with his brother.It never meant anything and at the time he seemed really happy in his relationship so I never expected I'd have the chance to be with him. So of course, he broke up with the girl four months ago and it just so happens he wants to start dating me.I haven't been able do more than cuddle him out of... some kind of guilt. I want to tell him what happened but I'm ... afraid I guess. If I do tell him and lose him forever it makes telling him kind of pointless, and if I don't tell him and he keeps trying to take the dating further (to a kiss, not necessarily sex) I don't think I can live with that.To make it worse he's a virgin and makes the suggestion he wants to lose it with me. Pile on the pressure eh? I don't know what to do, is there a right condition to tell him or should I just cut loose from now before it gets too deep?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): if you 'take' his virginity prior to telling him you had sex with his brother, he will always think of you as the *itch who gets around/ that he means nothing to you/that you are a liar/a fake - the list goes on.
if you dont tell him, your relationship is doomed right from the start and it means that it will be based on lies.
TELL HIM THE TRUTH and let him make the decision whether to cut loose or take it further.
i think you are a good person, therefore you are now feeling guilty by withholding this vital info. if you keep it a secret, it will only get worse.
also, his brother may have told his friends, so imagine WHEN someone else tells him you had his brother as well?//
can you see a dangerous situation arises here?
you tell him before someone else does.
LoveGirl
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): I will make this simple: Do not get involved with him and take his virginity without telling him about your previous romp with his brother ahead of time.
You can avoid this several ways. Don't get involved with him. Or get involved with him but tell him about his brother first. Or tell him about his brother and end up losing him before you get involved. Whatever. But just DO NOT sleep with this guy while keeping the brother thing a secret. Not under any circumstances.
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