A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok... there is a super long backstory to me and my best friends relationship but I won't bore you with it. I'll just lay it out plain and simple. I met my best friend 5 years ago... have a connection with him that I have never found with anyone else before in my life. I've also been in love with him for 5 years and I've had a few chances to tell him but I was always too scared for some reason or another. we've never dated but everyone always thought we would get married one day. we finish each others sentences and can look at one another and just KNOW what the other is thinking. we can sit for hours in silence and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation we've ever had. I feel as though we are soul mates and that i knew him before i met him. back when our friendship was still forming into being best friends we would pass notes back in forth in high school and talk online after school and he used to tell me he loved me before we said goodbye. well years have gone by and now he is dating someone who makes him very happy. he has also joined the army and is back for the holidays. his girlfriend and him have been dating for about a year a few months. he just told me a few days ago that he needs to buy her a ring. and I asked what kind? engagement or promise... and he said "idk. I haven't decided yet." I think I had a heart attack. so my question is do I finally tell him I've been in love with him for 5 years and potentially lose him? or do I do the noble thing and bite my tongue and suffer in silence? I want nothing more than for him to be happy. I love him more than life itself. I've been wrestling with this decision ever since he told me. I can't help thinking I'm going to lose my soul mate forever. I feel as though it would be unfair and selfish to tell him now that he is thinking of making such a committment to someone else so i'm leaning towards NOT telling him. but if i don't then it would go against everything i believe in... which is the whole "don't die wondering" thing. please help!
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best friend, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): i appreciate your advice. thanks. :)but i can't tell him now. he is engaged as of today.even though i know she isn't the right one for him.i blew my chance a long time ago. i have to deal with it now.thanks again
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): thanks for the advice. i appreciate it.he is engaged as of today though. so my chance is lost.thanks anyway
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A
male
reader, christopher 22  +, writes (27 December 2010):
think about it in great detail i know you cant help who you fall in love with. Maybe you should have a quiet word with him and explain the situation you are in if he feels the same then you know if he doesnt then atleast you know and can find a way of moving on it sound easier said than done but your heart wants what your heart wants and its the only way you will truly find out
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A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 You can't be certain he is making that commitment if he told you he doesn't know yet he hasn't decided, if a man cant answer for I want to marry her it means he isnt sure himself on whether the other girl is the right one for him or his keeping his options open, but then again us blokes are slow at the best of times with those decisions.
Give yourself peace of mind tell him how you feel about him but also let him know you understand if the feeling isn't mutual. If he tells you he doesn't feel the same then move on get the infatuation on him out of your head find a man who wishes to love you as much as you love this fellow(I don't mean for it to sound mean sorry if comes across like that)and let him know your happy he is happy.
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