A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating the same guy for 2 years. One time when we broke up he had sex with one of his good friends and I didn't find out till 6 months later. we broke up for about 3 weeks because i said i couldnt handle it but during those 3 weeks i had sex with someone else. I never told him and a month or two later we are "talking" again, well we stopped and he was about to date this girl and they also had sex.. i took him back and told him i wanted to put everthing in the past. We are doing so good now.. but him not knowing about me having sex with someone else is killing me, i dont want to tell him because i love him so much and i dont want to loose him, selfish i know. Should i tell him i had sex with someone else... and if i do how do/should i tell him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): nooooo i didnt sleep with his friend, they dont even know eachother, he slept with hiss good friend lol but people know about me and the kid bbecause i was gonna tell my boyfriend but now im no sure
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Tell him if you want to continue the relationship. If you don't, keep your silence. Technically you two were broken up, but if he finds out from someone else, it is really going to hurt him. I'd say there is more of a chance of him finding out since you said that you slept with one of his good friends.
It's going to come out eventually (b/c you slept with someone close to him and guys talk), whether it is one week from now or a year later. Tell him, try and mitigate the damage and hope for the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Thanks you guys, but I would tell him because a few people know and I'm afraid that if I don't tell him he will find out through someone else and then it will be even a bigger mess, I think I'm going to do it this weekend but I'm not completely sure how to. The biggest thing I'm worried about is loosing him but I can't keep it from him anymore. I love him so I know it's the right thing to do. Thank you guys so much for all the help 3
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A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 NO!! Dont; tell him. What would be the point?
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A
male
reader, juisyjuice +, writes (30 July 2010):
 If you tell him it will open up a can of worms. But in the end it will pay off. Unfortunately there is a major double standard with what is going on here. Take it from me, I am a guy, and have been in your boat with my girlfriend before. When we broke up I was sleeping with a couple of women, and she found out about it and tried to get revenge. She eventually ended up sleeping with some loser out of desperation to get back at me, and then told me about it and it made me real mad. I got so angry that she didn't tell me about it when we first got back together, but rather she waited a few months and it meade me view her as a slut and whore. I was almost gonna break up with her again just so I could get revenge for what she had done, lol.
So like I said, tell the truth, come clean about everything and tell him all the details of what happen so he can get closure. It will be a bit bumpy at first (he will think your a sad little whore initially) but eventually he will realize that you ended up telling him the truth, because you care for him, and after a while, he will look back and love you even more for being honest with him.
Honesty is the best policy. Most of the time anyway!!!
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (30 July 2010):
 don't tell him if he doen't ask. no point in giving up the info if he doesn't even wanna know. plus you guys were broken up anyways. just move on forward
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): thank you everyone for yals advice. and no he didnt tell me about the first one i found out through a friend.. but he did tell me about the second one and i feel its only fair to tell him about mine, i am just afraid hes going to hate me and leave me... but thank you so much you guys really helped
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): I was also surprised adifferentperspective. I believe if you're planning on having a serious/committed relationship with somebody, then they should know every last thing about one another. It's only right they know exactly who they're having a relationship with.
However, she never actually said she was planning on having a committed relationship with him. Although, he done it twice and told her, so why can't she tell him? He can hardly get mad, he done it twice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): If you're planning on having a future with this man then I think maybe you should tell him. If you're not, he doesn't need to know. Also, if it's killing you, best to put yourself at ease.
Besides, how could he possibly get mad? He's done it twice!
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Not unless he asks you specifically.
If he does ask and you lie about it, that might come back and bite you later. In any case, you were on a break, and you haven't done anything he hasn't, so it's not like you've done anything hugely wrong.
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A
male
reader, werther  +, writes (30 July 2010):
hi
you guys were on a break, you don have to tell him everything that goes on in your head or in your life , you can on your own terms ....
you think the relation would be harmed by this information,
so if you want to stay with him don´t tell him,focus on that what you have, not had......
it is your life, not his.
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