A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an honest guy. I like to tell the truth. I'm thinking about pursuing a specific girl in my life who seems to like me. Would it be wise to tell her that I'm "love-shy" (really really really bad with women)? I feel like it would take a huge load off on my part but I fear she may judge me, or think something is wrong with me and just suddenly loose interest, not to mention I'll be 28 soon. Plus she will have private information about me who she could tell to pretty much anyone I know.I'm tired of feeling anxious around friends and family simply because they want to understand why I'm always single. I'm tired of not being able to relate to other guys. I'm tried or running away when sex-talk or relationship-talk comes up. I want to make this my past and move on. I want to stop being insecure about who I am and stop beating myself up over and over all the time. This thing makes me feel really small. I feel that maybe if I'm just open about it, that can help to fix it. What do you guys think?
View related questions:
insecure, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2017): It's not really a good move to layout your shortcomings to people you don't know and want to get to know. You don't start off you introduction with a warning! Hi, I'm Fred, I like you but I'm "love-shy." I think some things you reveal as people get to know you by your true personality, then they can decide if they accept your faults or imperfections.
You call it being truthful, but what you're really doing is anticipating rejection and hoping to appeal to her sympathies. Most women want more confidence than that. Not necessarily sexual-experience. If she doesn't know you, she can't really judge you one way or another.
Just give her time to become acquainted with the guy that you are; and let nature take its course. There's more to your manhood than how you perform in bed, or how "macho" you are with women.
By the way...Hello moderators! This is WiseOwlE! My account has been hacked and I can't get through to anyone to get logged in! Please send me an email! Thank you!
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (3 July 2017):
 Personally, I wouldn't mention it.
Like janniepeg said, confide in friends. Why tell her? You get experience by going out and doing things. Just roll with it and see what happens, if it doesn't work out the you have learned things for next time. Rinse and repeat until you get it right.
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2017): No don't tell her. It is not called for. Women are attracted to smart,interesting,attractive and successful men. You can be all those if you work on them. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to be attractive to women. Just find your style, work hard, take good care of your hygienes,dress smartly and have something to talk about to others, read read read, and mingle with people.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 July 2017):
 You can open up to your family and friends. The girl is new to this. Your inexperience should not be the first thing she knows. I think the more you focus on the problem you impose on yourself, the more anxious energy you give off. The reason why you've been single so long is because you fear rejection. Something of the future. Something you can't prepare or expect so you think of it as bigger and threatening than it really is. You have been protecting yourself in a little bubble. Time to train yourself to be more adventurous and go out of your comfort zone. Your family and friends can try to understand you and encourage you to go out more, then the rest is still up to you.
If a girl really likes you for who you are, it won't matter that you won't have experience. But this shouldn't be this all time consuming thinking pattern in your head. You should just think of inexperience as a small part of you, a small part of a lot of other awesome things about you.
...............................
|
