A
female
age
51-59,
*ssocialite
writes:I am dating a 44 year old man who is very good looking and has had the opportunity and been in numerous relationships...within 6 mths to a year at the most they end, as he has said there has always been something wrong with the girl....and i believed him....44 never been married, no children has not lived with a woman. We have been dating for nearly 2 years...long distance at first and then i freaked him out and moved to the same zip code...we spent 4 nights a week together, we laugh, we never fight, we have great sexual chemistry, it all felt great.....he even moved my furniture into his house....but through all this ...he never said the words I love you...in his cards he would write xoxo and could not even say the word love there. any one who saw us to gether thought we were a dynamic duo together and always very happy and loving...he is always faithful and affectionate and loving, I have spent xmases with the family, gone on several trips together and because of this it did not bother me that he was unable to say the word love...he showed itanyways...so I asked at the possibility of us moving in together and he said this did not excite him...I asked if it was because he didn't love me and he said yes.... My question is this ......is this an investment I should make in him as it is seems obvious to everyone over the years that he has a committment issue or should I cut my losses?
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female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 It seems more like he has commitment issues and he doesn't like being surprised, but at the same time, I wouldn't stay in the same zip-code if you didn't LOVE living there.
You have to imagine yourself without him there and ask yourself whether it is worth staying. If you start asking yourself "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?" because this guy doesn't love you, then I think it's best to just move on.
Then you have to ask yourself whether you can be in the relationship knowing that he said that he didn't love you.
It seems unfair and unbalanced to me, and I think this might wear down your affections for him after awhile. If you have the strength of will to enjoy the relationship as it is, then you might as well go for it. If not, then perhaps it is just as well to cut your losses.
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