A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is a long story but here it goes. I met this girl almost a year ago (we were both 20 years old) and we became really great friends for 4 months. I ended up asking her out and we hit it off after a slow start. She ended up telling me she had been raped twice in her past (two different guys!) after the first month of our relationship so that's why she was shy to make physical contact and didn't fully trust me. I didn't mind, because I started to fall in love with this girl and just loved to be around her. Eventually after 2 months of going out we started to cuddle every night we hung out (twice a week or more) and we both loved it. She then broke up with me for a first time because she was scared of where the relationship was leading (physically) but I told her I didn't need that stuff and would wait for her, so we got back together. We continued on like this until almost 3 months ago (3 and a half months of dating) she broke up with me again and said she liked another guy. Now this guy was her moms roomate (long story there too which I won't get into, but lets say she has family issues and hes 23). She had told me stories about how terrible of a guy he was like a month before she broke up with me for the second time and told me how he was a womanizer and was just overall a bad person. Naturally I was heartbroken to be broken up with a girl I love, and for her to be seeing someone terrible for her. She told me while breaking up that she didn't want to date the other guy but didn't want to date me while liking him as well. I found out a week later that she was seeing the other guy! So a few days ago i heard from a friend that those two had broken up because the guy was never there for her and she found out he was a massive cocaine addict! Now I feel like she may try and contact me because I've always been there for her and am pretty much the complete opposite of this other guy she dated... So my question is... should i even want this girl back? I still love her so much and actually want her to try and get back together with me. Do you think she will try, or should I just let go? And if I should let go, how do i do this because i have been so destroyed over the fact that she dumped me for the whole 3 months i've been apart from her.
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, got back together, heartbroken, her past, shy, womaniser Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice! I will try and get over this girl, and stop her from hurting me further.
A
female
reader, missfussy  +, writes (17 February 2010):
you sound like ur a nice bloke, and i do believe dis girl did have feelings for u but because of what had happened to her in the past she obviosly has trust issues. i can understand u must be upset knowing that she left u for a guy who wud just treat her badly, but in my opinion i think u should move on, ur only gonna get hurt if u take her back for her 2 go and leave u again she obviosly seems confused with what she wants. she knew a physical relationship didint matter 2 u and that you did love her, why she threw that away for a guy dat is trouble i cant understand. as i said this is just my opinion, if u feel u want to give it another go, i wud wait until she made the first move so dat u no her hearts in it 2 try make things work
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 February 2010):
She is an ex that clearly has issues she needs to deal with before she is suitable for anyone. Of course her being raped is terrible, but at the same time before she can be a suitable girlfriend, she must attend to that and at least come to terms with it. She has too many problems, and I think your safest bet is to leave her out of your life.
...............................
|
