A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 5 years wants us to swing with his friend and his girlfriend. This is something he really seems into and I don't think I could. But should I do it for him? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is something he really seems into and I don't think I could. But should I do it for him?
Nope. Swinging is something you need to do for you as much or more as for him, or it will most likely end badly. I don't know how much talking you two have done, but there needs to be A LOT, and it needs to especially cover those topics you *don't want* to discuss - what if he likes the other woman more, what if you like the other man more, what activities are off limits, how will you deal with reconnecting that night/next morning, what about guilt, what about jealousy, etc etc ETC. You could have these discussions for *months*, and then you still really won't know your real reactions until you try it.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 No,No,NO,NO..........
It will end in tears, mark my words.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (1 September 2008):
Relationships do need some compromises in order to work, but this is one I dont think should be done. Changing who you are, your values, beleifs etc and doing something you are clearly not comfortable with is not something you should do just for your bf.
You said its not something you think you could do, so dont pressure yourself into doing it. I hope your bf is not doing this either.
Do you fear that if you say no to swinging that he will love you less or dump you? If this is the case then he is clearly not worth your love!!! But if this isnt the case, then it means he will be understanding and wont really mind and he will let go of his fantasy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (1 September 2008):
 As long as YOU are comfortable with the discussed situation, then don't let nerves hold you back.
As a couple, it's rather healthy to explore new adventurous settings. However, I have heard of cases where the event in some way has gone wrong. Perhaps your partner gets too intimate for your liking with the other woman. Of which, can lead to disputes in the future. If you go ahead with this, make sure you discuss with each other and the other couple some hard rules.
I hope this works out.
...............................
|
