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Should I stay with him until I leave or leave him now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm leaving my boyfriend of about 10 months to go to school in October. I decided that it was too painful to be with him knowing I was leaving and I wanted to break up. It's not the only reason, but it's the main one. I also found out that he slept with his ex the first month we were together and that for the first 4 months of our relationship he was trying to get another girl to go out with him, essentially proving that I didn't matter to him at all for at least the first 4 months, and I had no hint of it at all. He hid it well, making me feel like the only one.

I've managed to ignore the past until now, but those things are really starting to bother me, to the point that I almost can't be around him anymore. It hurts a lot to know that I was just filler, but I thought I had forgiven him and nothing has happened in over 6 months.

I told him I wanted to break up because I was leaving, but it hurt both of us too much and we ended up staying together. It was extremely hard on both of us to go through that, and staying together felt like the right decision at the time, but now I'm having second thoughts.

Should I stay with him until I leave or leave him now? Is what happened at the beginning a reflection on his overall character? I'm having a hard time trusting him at all because he's so good at hiding things. But, things have been really good at least on the surface for a long time now and I'm reluctant to end that. Thoughts?

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A female reader, sammy1986 United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2011):

i would break up with him whats to say he won,t go cheat on you again and hurt you he obviously didnt think he was doing anything wrong by cheating on you for 4 months you desreve much better than that

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A female reader, Maisy92 United States +, writes (1 July 2011):

in my opinion leave him now. i have caught my boyfriend making out with 3 girls and a year gone, i still bring it up and i have no trust in the guy.

i am with him because i have not got the courage to leave him as i am pregnant. Obviously his way of cheating is worse to be honest hunny i dont think you will ever get over it unfortunatley he sounds like a jerk and you sound like you can do better i say do it now and do it quick.

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