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Should I stay with my boyfriend, even though I know he's cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2005) 11 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I'm in my last month of pregnancy and my boyfriend recently started to cheat on me. At first he was always here for me and now it's like he wants nothing to do with me. I feel that it is me, but is it really me or is it him? Should I stay with him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2005):

no you shouldn't stay with him and its not because of you. your pregnant theres not much you can do to please somone while your pregnant and stress and depression isnt good for the baby

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A reader, alison +, writes (27 May 2005):

You deserve so much better than him but of course you have your baby to think about. Sit down and talk to him. If you still love him then follow your heart. Only you can decide if you stay with him or not. You have a lot to think about, like what's best for the baby and whats best for you.

If you decide to leave him you can make arrangements with him so he can still see the baby. Think about how hurt you could get if you stay with him.

good luck

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A reader, lucy +, writes (25 May 2005):

i think that you deserve better and even though it may not be the easiest thing in the world, i think you should tell him it's over. No-one has the right to treat someone like that and get away with it...you dont want him 2 think that you're so weak that he can do whatever he wants 2 you and expect you 2 not mind, cos you deserve someone who will be so crazy about you, they're gonna want 2 treat you right adn be there for you 24/7. I know that it would seem the easiest thing 2 carry on pretending like everything's fine but by letting him walk all ove ryou, who knows what hemight do next, and if he does it again with the child in the world, this could cause even more upset. you don't need him and he doesnt deservs someone like you. I definitely reckon you shud forget this guy, you're seem too gud for him! x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2005):

If he knows that you know that he's cheating on you, the more he will do it. I would leave him. You deserve much better. Even though I don't know you, but I hate cheaters and if he sees he won't do it again. Put it like this: once a cheater, always a cheater.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2005):

I personally think that he is scared. Don't be afraid to ask what's up and confront the problem so that it doesn't escalate, and make sure you get the straight answer. My friend is going through this as well so you are not alone in this. He doesn't want the kid and is scared of having to be "grown-up" and have responsibilities. Hope this helps a little. good luck

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (20 May 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntThere are always two sides to every story but cheating is against all the relationship rules. He is very much disrespecting you by doing it, particularly as you are pregnant and about to give birth.

Have you spoken to him about what he is doing? Have you discussed the future for all of you as soon there will be a baby too. Perhaps he is trying to avoid the responsibility of fatherhood. It could be the case that now the time is drawing near for you to actually have the baby, that he is scared. Frightened of what the future will bring with a tiny demanding person to look after. It is no excuse for his behaviour but it could be an explanation.

You need to find out what is going on inside his head. You also need to think about if you can ever relly trust him as now he has destroyed the security that you had before.

Facing life without him and being a single mum is tough but if you have support, you will certainly get through it without him and with less heartache in the long run.

Try talking to him first and then make up your mind as to whether it is really worth staying with him.

Take care.

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A reader, angelus +, writes (20 May 2005):

firstly the problem is not you. your child is going to need you to be a happy strong mammy and can you really be either of those things if you are constantly worrying that he will cheat on you? I have been through it myself and raised my first child single handed and much happier than I would have been had I stayed with her father who was a cheat. Be strong leave him and if in time he can prove to you he has changed then consider giving it another go but right now I think you would be a lot better off without him. Good luck, I hope this helps

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A reader, sarahinlove +, writes (20 May 2005):

he has no right cheating on you when you are in your last month of pregnancy he should be there for you liike he used to be you need to confront him and give him a choice he can either be with you and have a family or he can go elsewhere. you deserve better love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2005):

you need a lot of love at the moment and if he isnt there for you now then he wont be there in a couple of months time. i think you should sit him down and tell him how you feel. good luck

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A reader, taz +, writes (20 May 2005):

i think that this is something that you are both going to have to sit down and talk about. With your baby almost here this won't be helping. If he wont talk then you have 2 choices in my eyes and they are stay with him for the child's sake or leave him, either way you both need to sit and have a long talk.

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A reader, Hannah_MO +, writes (20 May 2005):

Hi I don't think you should stay with him. If he really loves you then he wouldn't be cheating on you. He would be there for you but then again maybe he is just scared of having a family.But thats no excuse he got you pregnant so he should be there. And if he isn't there now he prolly won't be there in the future. And I always say once a cheater always a cheater. I wish you the best of luck with you, him and your soon to be baby. I hope you make the right choice.

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