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Should I send her a birthday text? Stay no contact to see if she contacts me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2016)
A male Nigeria age 30-35, *rico writes:

I have dated a girl for 5months who was much in love with me and I loved her too. in fact she was the one who made the first move of confessing her love for me. she has been telling me am the kind of person she wants for life and our sex life fantastic that she even boost me up that am the kind of guy girls will live to be with.things were so sweet between us till on Valentine day when I called her severally but she couldn't pick the call. later at night she called and I didn't pick but recalled her later telling her how vexed I was that she didn't pick my call. she told me she wasn't at the right place to pick call and I replied she would have sent a text to me if she wasn't disposed .she responded angrily by telling me she has nothing to tell me on phone. I cut off the call angrily.

next I called her at night what she has in mind about me,she told me she wanted to be herself. I was juxtaposed by her answer . I asked what I did wrong. she couldn't lay any specific reason. I had to end the call and I meditated on it and I didn't see anything I have done to deserve the disappointment. I had to call her the next night to ask her what I did wrong but was still adamant to tell me. so I initiated mo contacts . 3days later she called but I didn't pick afterwards she sent a text in the night telling me that she said she wanted to be herself doesn't mean she won't be reaching me.

since then we haven't contacted ourselves for a month now. she tagged me on one of her pix on Facebook I didn't. few days later commented on her pix but she thanked everyone except me. I tagged her too she didn't comment. I have to confess I still have feelings for her but I can't tell if she still feel same. since then we haven't seen each other. her birthday is in four days time and am tempted send her a text and I want to know if it will be wise.

kind readers please I want to know if she still loves and might things move on well between us again or should I stick to no contact rule to know if she will contact me again. thanks for your cooperation.

View related questions: facebook, move on, sex life, text

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (7 March 2016):

Abella agony auntHmm Valentine's day. That seems to be when the rot set in.

Did you send her a card? Did you make her feel very special in the lead up to St Valentine's day or did you just let things slide?

Was she hurt about you missing out arranging a special date for Valentine's day? It certainly sounds like she was feeling hurt at the time, so she turned her back on you, back then.

But she's tried to reconnect with you since and you've turned your back on her.

Pride will not win you a lady.

If she is the romantic type and you do nothing special for her birthday then you are sending her all the wrong signals.

Great sex will not mean a thing if you cannot follow through with romantic sweet gestures for birthdays and days like valentine's day. These things may not mean much to you but to a romantic girl these are signs of your affection or lack of affection towards her.

If your main goal is great sex then that may feel great for you, but a kind, caring, devoted faithful guy will win the girl's heart and mind.

1. do you want to get back with her?

2. Or are you going to continue this cat and mouse game where neither of you are being true to yourselves?

The first option, if you genuinely would like to see her again would be a hand written birthday card .... But will it reach her in time for her birthday?

A text is impersonal.

A phone call is just your voice and puts her and you on the spot - just standing there, if you run out of confidence. Or if you enough to think of another topic or a response to her remarks.

I think flowers might be too much and too expensive. Though some beautiful flowers can melt the heart for many women.

Now option two.

Stop playing games. She is slipping away.

You need to tell her. Do not ignore her. Pick up that phone. Do not choose to ignore her. That is hurtful.

Invite her to share a meal with you - and yes as the one doing the inviting - let her know it is your treat

tell her what you really like about her

this is all about wooing her.

If you do truly want her back

Post her a love poem that makes it clear you are still interested.

Good luck in your quest to win her back, if that is what you want

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think it depends on what outcome you expect from sending her a text.

If you JUST wish to show that you remembered and you wish her a happy birthday - then fine, do it.

If you expect her to be MOVED by it and get back together with you, then no.

Though overall, I think you need to ACCEPT that it's over, and that you need to move on.

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