A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been good friends with the groom for over 4 years.He and the bride said I was invited to the wedding ceremony. I was surprised as a registry office is usually small so was please to be asked. The bride asked if I had my invitation which I said no and she said the groom had them but will need to bring it out when he sees me. A few months went by so I heard nothing. I messaged the groom asking what the arrangements were and he said speak to the bride. The bride said I could only go to the reception as there was no room as the ceremony. I accepted this as it is their wedding day but I don't know why they backtracked. I felt upset as all of our friends went to the ceremony except me, even acquaintances went who he has not known that long. One friend made it worse telling me there were 2 empty rows of seats which was visible on the photos. The bride was quite insecure when we first met asking me why I didn't like her and that she needs to be accepted and was trying to intimidate me. I did not dislike her at all and don't know why she thought this but she was paranoid as the groom initially liked me before he met her and he told her this. I did not like the groom romantically so she had nothing to worry about.At the wedding reception she would briefly see me saying we haven't had chance to speak and would run off so I knew she was avoiding me. I feel now that these people are not friends. Should I say something or cut ties?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2017): I would cut ties with them.
They made you feel unwelcome at their wedding. Even if she had her own reasons, it was not a nice feeling for you, was it?
He is going to be loyal to her.
Your friendship with him is now over.
I would accept this and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): I've been in this situation a lot, and the first few times upset me. But honestly, I've thought about it (and it took some time) and yeah, I understand where the couple is coming from. There shouldn't be any doubt between a couple, and if it means they choose each other above you, then that's actually normal! Sure, it doesn't always have to be the way, but sometimes that's the only workable solution for a couple. Why mess with that? Don't you want them to succeed and be happy? After all not everything is about you in this world. Also, the wedding day is her day, their day, starting a life together. This day, too, is not about you. I think they've shown you their plan going forward. I would respect that and stay out if it and chalk it up to life. I can't imagine this male friend of yours was so important that you have to have him in your life, right? People grow apart. I've learned to make friends that I know can be long lasting, no possibility of attraction. No fuss no muss. And I don't feel any less in my life losing any of my male friends to their partners. I hope you can too! Don't feel bad about it or yourself, really, it's life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): I wouldn't blame the bride too much, as her current husband did have a crush on you in the beginning, and you had been close friends for four years...sorry but that IS a threat: you are/were emotionally close AND he was physically attracted... in 99% of people's books that is a threat. Some jealousy is a natural emotion, it is instinctual and what motivates us to protect our partners from others' attentions...I don't really see you being able to be close friends with these people. He was the one who was your friend, and he is now married, so it isn't really appropriate to keep a close relationship with a married man. She will probably never be able to accept you for obvious reasons...would you really accept someone if you were in her shoes?So no, I think you remain friendly with these people, but you can't go on in your entitled fashion when it makes complete sense that both of them have to distance themselves.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 Honestly it was her big day and she did not want you their because she is insecure and she knew her husband had feelings for you at one point. I know you say she had nothing to worry about because you had no feelings, but he did and that is what you need to remember. She was uncomfortable having you around when she was getting married. I guess they where inviting you and then she told the groom she was uncomfortable he may have said it is to late now and they compromised for you to be at the reception. I wouldn't take this personally it is her own insecurities. I think you should just avoid saying anything to them and just slowly lose contact.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 February 2017):
 I'd slowly just let the "friendship" run its course and "downgrade them to acquaintances... I think it's pretty obvious that your friend's new wife is insecure and feels you were /are a threat. MAYBE someone has suggested that YOU don't like her or that you liked the groom and she (not knowing you well) believed that and her (your friend) husband didn't set her straight. Maybe HE just didn't want drama.
These are not good friends, so mentally just change their "status" to acquaintances. You have other friends so I'd stick with those. And I'd AVOID any gossip or drama about the bride/groom/ wedding - it would be a NON-subject among friends.
Some people get VERY possessive of their partners. She seems like one of those.
I'd DEFINITELY take the high road and ignore it. It was their wedding and she couldn't handle having you there. Unless you all are part of a bog group of friends maybe it won't be too hard to avoid her.
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