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Should I quit my job...and look elsewhere for a relationship with a girl?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2015)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Well this may sound pathetic and funny but after breaking up with my last girlfriend 4 years ago...its been very hard for me to find love...

It sounds cheazy when a guy says it ...but i really do feel that i need help.

I was nt that bad with girls before and dont find any trouble talking to one... But (i dont want to sound like a douche ) i just dont feel anything strong for any girl i come contact with and there may not be a perfect match for me (sorry for the sissy language) .

I'm scared that maybe the last one was for me and completely missed my shot.

Whenever i think of being finding a girl for me...my i never get the chance because of my workplace and house may not be near any potential matches...

Should i quit my job...and look for a girl and form a relationship because, i am already done finding me...

I took a lot of time but ...do you think its proper to just quit my job...move to another place and look for someone...

Because to think of it im sick of waiting for someone to fall in my arms and ready to catch instead... Becaude every time i see couples it hurts a bit inside and i just want to be whole

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2015):

Nobody will want to date someone with no job! Don't quit, definetly concentrate on enjoying your life by yourself so you won't put so much emphasis on a relationship being the answer to all, because it really isn't! why not try taking up new hobbys etc and meeting people that way? And enjoying having single fun too? Or online dating? I live in a very rural area, all my dating has been with people I met online who did not live in my immediate area. What are the odds of the person for you walking into your arms one day? Pretty slim

I think when I was your age I had only dated one person, I am a bit older now and dated a few at the time I thought they were all the one- looking back hell no! You are really young to have made your mind up already that no one else will ever be as good as that one ex! get out there and experience a bit more!

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 June 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntFinding "that girl" won't make your life complete. why not focus on keeping yourself ditracted? Take some classes at the nearby school of your choice. take up a martial art.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (30 June 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Let me ask you this...

Women want men who have a job, because it signifies responsibility, shows signs of being a good provider, and maturity.

You...would like to give up your job to find a woman....Do you see any wrong with this way of thinking???

First of all...having a lot of hormones does not make you wise. If fact, many men have thrown wisdom out the window to follow their hormones...which makes them do the typical stupid things we hear about almost everyday. Guess what train you are getting ready to ride???

I am not your parent, but I am going to give you a piece of advice every young man your age should have....

Leave the girls alone, and do your best in your education. Once you have set yourself as a great provider, and show high levels of maturity, women would not be an issue.

You are not going to die without a girlfriend. And if you can't handle seeing other people in a relationship and not yourself...then you are studying hard enough.

Yeah I know you heard all this before...I am in my forties, and know people from back in high school doing the same job today they were doing as a teenager...why?? Too busy chasing women, and being concerned with everything else except the future.

If you cannot provide for you, your wife, family, and place to live...you can be the best looking guy in the world, you will still have trouble keeping woman.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (30 June 2015):

Abella agony auntAs I started reading your question I thought I was reading a post from an older man who had lost hope and was feeling as if he'd missed the boat and then I glanced up and saw 18-21.

You should not give up so easily. You have time on your side to meet a special girl.

When your life is busy and filled with great experiences then the chances of meeting a great girl will just multiply. If you are overly pessimistic and you go to work, come home, go to work, come home, go to work then of course you limit your opportunities to meet a nice girl. Being positive really does help you to connect with others.

So I am going to ask, rather than just look for another job, is there any chance of you studying part time and working the rest of the time to help you to meet a much bigger pool of nice interesting intelligent girls at the place where you are enrolled to study?

Learning enriches your life in many ways. Benjamin Franklin once said:

"If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."

Secondly are you in an area with some mixed sporting /leisure teams? Golf is a bit expensive but tennis is a nice social game and clubs do exist and you will get to mix with the girls you play tennis with.

If your job is secure then I would not be tossing in the job in the current financial climate.

How good are you at saving some money? Enough to allow you to accumulate a reasonable travel fund over the next two years? Travel can be such a uplifting experience. And you will meet new people and make friends. check out the travel grant that hostel International offer each year to one lucky first time youth (18-30) traveller.

www.hiusa.org/travel-los-angeles/travel-grants/

18-30 year olds make up one of the largest segments of the population in the USA and as the people born 1945-1960 start to pass away your current generation will become even more prominent.

Go on line to find which volunteer groups in your state are looking for volunteers to join all manner of programs and projects.

consider the 18-30 arm of Rotary where you can do some great things and meet other 18-30 year old and make a difference to lives www.meetup.com/Epsom-Rotaract/

So before you just re-locate (if you still do decide to re-locate) find out what else is available in your own area. There may be more opportunities to meet other young people in your area, than you currently realize

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