A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex happens. I would like to know if I should tell her before she sees it so that she is not deceived. Women, what would you prefer a guy do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2017): The sexiest boyfriend I have ever had was about your size. It's about you and how you treat her, how much you want to please her in bed, how you make her feel in and out of the bedroom that is important, not the size of your penis.
Women don't think like men. Usually for us, the attraction to you and the investment we put in to a relationship is to do with the emotional connection as much as, or even more than the sexual connection, even though that is also very important.
I think the idea of letting her know that you're not large by way of a little joke is a good idea because I think it shows confidence on your part. But don't worry if you don't want to do that but do start to take things to the next level before she starts wondering if there's something wrong.
We all have things to get out of the way before we can become sexual. I have an STD that I have to declare before we get to sex and I worry that my partner won't want me anymore, but I have to be brave and thankfully I haven't been rejected. No one's perfect and if you're at the stage where you're going to have sex, then you need to be brave and bare all.
And by the way I was relieved that my boyfriend wasn't large. Most women in my experience don't much like large penises. It can be pretty uncomfortable.
Good luck and have fun.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2017): Hi there,
I think you are in danger of giving her the wrong impression if you basically make an excuse to leave whenever things get hot and heavy. She may start to think that you don't like her or don't like the way she kisses. I would probably tell her that I like her a lot but want things to move slowly because you like her SO much you want to treasure each step (or something along those lines to make sure she knows you are VERY into her, and this isn't an escape route).
As for the size, I would probably hint about the fact that you aren't huge. You can make a lighthearted joke or something along those lines, or tell her straight out "i'm not that large, but I think you'll find I more than make up for it in other ways!"
Most guys tend to hint toward the size they are before women really see it...this is pretty common. I for one have very small boobs and I always make sure that the guys I'm dating see me in non-padded bras for most dates. Why? Because I want to get them anticipating what I DO have, not expecting what I DON'T have. I imagine it would be a similar situation for you- what you don't want to do is brag about a big dick and have girls expecting one thing...I think that women can and do get excited about whatever size the man they like has...but it is good to get them anticipating what you DO have rather than catching them off guard about it.
I don't believe size matters by the way...I wouldn't care and I probably wouldn't really care how I found out... but it would be cool to get some idea ahead of time.
Finally, as a woman she probably has tons of insecurities, so she will totally relate if you come clean about this or even admit that you worry you won't satisfy her..I'm sure she'll be happy to reassure you. Make her feel like a queen, that is all that matters.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 December 2017):
 I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel good. That's what makes someone a great lover. Not penis size. And youre not deceiving anyone here.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (17 December 2017):
I would prefer a guy to let things go by the flow and enjoy himself. Girls dont need or want a large penis. We want a great kisser and someone who is passionate in bed. Someone who enjoys making us feel
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): I think you should spend more time with her build more into the relationship .. I myself find being emotional connected so much heightens the sensual sexual part . That she may not care what size you are. .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): No don't tell her because that will be very immature thing if you do. Let her decide for her self. If she finds you too small for her liking she will disappear from your life and you will not see her again. The good news is that Women are also different down there. Some are big and some are small . You just have to try till you find the one which will be happy with your size. Maybe you will be lucky and this one will be her. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): Everyone has something they feel insecure about. Your manhood is not measured by the length of your penis. The way you determine that a person really cares for you; is when you lovingly give yourself just as nature made you, and they love you all the same. Four inches and all!
She may find issue with your personality and other traits; so don't use your penis as an excuse/scapegoat to avoid being intimate and pleasing a woman. It's easy to sit here and sanctimoniously tell someone who has insecurities about their body to just deal with it. That's not what I'm trying to do. You deserve to have love and not think other people judge you according to the physical-imperfections you "falsely-perceive" and exaggerate about yourself. In that case, I do say deal with it!
Pushing your big toe through a keyhole is easier than convincing a person with body dysmorphia the problem is mostly in their heads! We all have a little of it. It's called "vanity!" But it also swells into a totally-certified mental-disorder in some folks! In that case, you seek professional help.
You cannot change the length of your penis; because it is what it is. She's got things she may not be totally comfortable with about her own body; so now you will level the playing field.
People are always intimidated by physical-beauty and appearance; and that makes it very hard for attractive people to find real love for themselves; and not just receive worship or idolization for their looks. Has it not occurred to you that she has been with guys of average-size before? Maybe she's tired of guys that can only see her for her looks, and not who she is!
If she's a virgin, there's no one to compare you to. Are you a virgin?
How long will you continue to deny yourself intimacy?
My guess is you've been looking at too much porn; or you wouldn't be so insecure about your size! Sex isn't all about size; it's also about attraction and emotional-attachment. Size is a factor when it's all just limited to lust; and objectifying another person. Like they're just something to be used or gawked at.
You only increase your insecurities about yourself when you idolize and place women up on a pedestal. You'd be better-off to cut that out! You're still thinking like an adolescent.
Be yourself, be open, and be honest. If she can let a good man go due to the size of his penis; that's up to her. There is always someone else who will take you as is, and appreciate your size regardless.
If you are an imaginative, creative, and considerate lover; that will compensate for size. There are guys with humongous penises that are all floppy and useless. They only get half-engorged. Some have little endurance, and are lousy in bed. Porn-stars are directed and coached, they take performance pills, and they create illusions and set standards that are totally unrealistic. At your age, you've still got much to learn.
I'm gay. We're stereotyped for being notoriously size-conscious. I can tell you! When you find someone you really care about, his size doesn't matter! Some will debate this, but superficial-people/size-queens have to defend their position too! Only reality has a way of bringing us all to our senses!
Women will lie and say size doesn't matter. Well, for some it does. Who doesn't have preferences? You're a big-boy otherwise; and if you haven't, you will eventually learn you can't please everyone. You will also learn that sometimes we don't get the person we want; and will blame something about ourselves as a reason for the rejection. Never-mind the fact it just wasn't meant to be! Period!
Look how far you've come without sex. Trust me, if you've pressed yourself against her, she already has some idea. She can also see the imprint in your pants. If that hasn't turned her away by now, she's not a size-queen. She truly likes you for you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 December 2017):
The truth is that for some women that might be too small. For some women 7 inches is too small, too.
But there are a hundred reasons why a new relationship might not work out. Maybe she realizes you're too sarcastic. Maybe your leisure activities are too different... You like hiking, she likes dancing. Maybe you like video games and she thinks they're immature. The list goes on.
That all comes down to compatibility. If she needs a guy with a bigger penis to fully enjoy sex then you may not be compatible. It doesn't mean you're too small, it just means you aren't a match. Don't think too much about it, don't beat yourself up about it.
FYI a warning about your penis size shows a lack of confidence that may turn her off to something that wasn't initially a big deal.
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (17 December 2017):
It makes me really sad that you feel you need to make any sort of apology or announcement about your own body OP. Why on earth would she feel deceived? You are who you are and anyone worth having in your life should accept you as such.
I know you probably won’t believe this, and there may be some women out there that disagree, but I genuinely believe most women don’t care about penis size. We really don’t. It’s hard for some men to believe since sex completely revolves around the penis for them, but being penetrated isn’t our main source of pleasure so it really doesn’t matter as much as you think.
If you still don’t believe me, think of it this way. Would you ever expect a woman to pre-warn you about the size of her breasts or shape of her vulva? If you really liked a woman, would either of those things be that much of a big deal? Or would you just be excited that your relationship had progressed to a sexual stage?
In my experience, most decent people fall into the latter camp, and if she’s as much of a great person as you say she is, I think she will too. So why not give her the benefit of the doubt and let her prove it?
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (17 December 2017):
A loving relationship is what is important here,the sharing and understanding of each other.Making love is not measured my the size of a man penis.As your only in the relationship a month,give it a little more time to develope and use your gut feeling then to decide what to do.Best wishes NORA B.
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