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Should I offer myself to this guy for two months before I move abroad? I don't want to look like an idiot'

Tagged as: Dating, Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I want to make a deal with this guy but I am not sure if it is normal to do so or how to get by doing the deal without looking like an idiot or making a fool out of my self.

I am moving out of the country end of this year as I just signed a contract to work for a company abroad and it is a good career choice, I have being on my own for the last couple of years, I do not have time for relationships neither have the time to get to know new people.

A month ago I met someone who is a person of interest to me, I feel like I am looking in to a mirror (personality mirror). He is a mutual friend of my friends. Since I seen him I feel very alone; I would wake up at the morning thinking if he was here next to me it would be much better, and I would fantasize about him !!!!!!

So, I decided to make a contract with him,..

I would give him myself as an ownership for 2 months as I will have him for myself this two months, I am leaving the country and god knows if I will ever come back so why not do it.

I thought of how to do this, I will see him, get a moment alone then offer him myself for two months!!!

WHy not, be his girl for a limited time!! I will be clear with him, I am on my own so is he,

If he said yes then this will be a fun 2 months, if he said no I will be the joke of my friends !!!

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A male reader, Hennessy1989 United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2012):

Hennessy1989 agony auntWhy complicate your move by gettin involved with someone for just 2 months, you clearly have feelings for him already, and If you add sexual relations to this you could find it very hard to leave him, it's not worth the hassle

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (19 October 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntThe problem with this is that you are already attached to the guy emotionally or you would not be dreaming that he's in bed with you every morning. Two months together as his sex partner, or whatever it is you're offering, is just going to put you in a degrading position. You will likely get more attached and emotionally involved, then he will leave you and you'll feel desperately lonely again.

You'll have fun for two months and possibly *fool* yourself into falling in love with him, then what? Reality hits.

Sorry, but unless you like emotional rollercoasters, I would not do that to myself.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhat do you mean by ownership..

do you mean you want FWB/NSA sex for two months..

if that's the case then sure why not

problem is one of you may start to care for the other (usually the woman) and then when you move it would be tough...

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (19 October 2012):

janniepeg agony auntWhy is it about ownership? Are you submissive? It takes two to tango so he is giving equally to you as well. First find out if he's the cheap type who will brag about his adventures to people, or post stuff on facebook. Maybe you can visit his facebook to see if he has many pictures of other girls, likes or comments. Instead of asking him, let him come to you and let him be the aggressive one. Flirt with him, talk to him more and slowly ease into the intimate part of the conversation. Then when things get heated up tell him you would be gone in two months and see if he is still up for it. Many guys would jump for this idea but at the same time realize some would decline. It doesn't make them prudes. It has nothing to do with your attraction and desirability. Also, why do your friends have to know about this? If you sense in any case he would tell your friends then don't do it. It makes sense that things like this could only happen when there is trust and both of you can be discreet about it, so hopefully he could keep it secret to protect your feelings. Also what happens if you fall in love after two months and can't let go? You are indeed taking a risk, but if the end result is: "we decided that it's not a good idea," it's better than him telling other people, "there's this girl who throws herself at me and it just felt so awkward." When I read the word offering I think about women in certain countries where they don't have rights and are treated like slaves. So make sure you don't present yourself like that to this guy. When people are in committed relationships maybe they can take part in role playing like this, but a coworker I think not.

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