A
female
age
51-59,
*heppy
writes:I have been in a relationship with someone for 18 years. We have lived together that long. We have two children. I have always loved him, but, he has never worried about what makes me happy. I have tried in the past to talk to him about it but he doesn't seem to care. Now that my children are 17 and 15 I don't know that there is any reason for me to stay. Should I move on with my life or hang around a little longer hoping he may still change?
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female
reader, cheppy +, writes (19 March 2007):
cheppy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for your advice. i am going to take your advice and once again try to talk to him. I knew all along what i should do. i guess i just needed someone who doesn't know me, give me advice. once again thanks so much!
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 He doesn't think there is a problem so he'll never change! It's up to YOU to let him know how unhappy you are in your relationship with him. He needs a wake up call big time!!! Let him know you feel invisible, unloved and taken for granted, so much so that you've seriously been thinking of leaving him, that should bring him back to reality. If he remains unmoved, unconcerned or indifferent then you should make that decision to move on. You are still young and have a whole lot of living to do. The kids are almost grown up now so there is nothing to stop you.
You may feel a bit apprehensive about it, going it alone after being with someone for so long but do you really want to remain in a loveless relationship like this, pandering after someone who's lazy and couldn't give a toss about your feelings for the rest of your life? My advice is to talk to him about it and I mean SERIOUSLY talk with him to let him know how you're feeling. If he remains indifferent and doesn't try harder then I would find someone else who can show you the love and attention you so richly deserve.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): 18 years is a long time, however, I do believe that your partner should be concerned about your well being in the relationship. And if nothing has changed in 18 years, what makes you think hanging around a little longer will? If you really have tried to talk to him and there is no hope of him changing, then I agree you need to move on. Why settle for unhappiness in your life, constant struggle and even depression that you may even be dealing with. Your children are no longer children, they are young adults who even though it may hurt them to see you part, I am sure in time they WILL understand and see you how you should be...happy with life and knowing one day that you WILL meet the one who puts the spark into your life. Life is to short to live an unhappy life.
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A
female
reader, AskChaz +, writes (18 March 2007):
 Dear Cheppy,
You should probably move on with your life as you kids have already got there lives all sorted and you and your man are not getting along so move on with your life and then you will probably feel happier and free. If you want you could try and stay with him and just live unhappy. Although if I were you I would walk because there is nothing holiding you back.
From AskChaz
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