A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I've been best friends with this girl, let's call her Mary, since the 8th grade. We are now both seniors. Last year, Mary and I got into a fight. It was, I admit, over something not too small. Unintentionally, I ended up blowing her off by going to a concert she wanted to see without her. It was a really shitty thing to do, I admit. And she took it REALLY hard. No matter how much I apologized, she didn't fully accept me as a friend again. I'd never seen her like that, aggressive and just down-right mean. This period lasted for 3 months... Slowly, things got better.Now that things cooled off (almost a year later) and we're "straight" again, we're no longer best friends. Just mere acquaintances. We both chose separate paths. No matter how much I know I must accept this, I still miss her and wish we hadn't gotten in this tangle because, in truth, Mary was a great friend. We talk occasionally but I don't know how to fully break the ice and I don't know her feelings for me. I assume since she talks to me first, she wants to keep in touch SOMEhow. What should I do? Should I just move on and let her go, accepting that it was my fault?
View related questions:
best friend, move on, period Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): no u shouldnt let go of her u should keep trying. cause u have been friends with her since 8th grade and its hard to find good friends out there and if to this point ur still trying than that means she must be a great friend dont let one fight get in between yalls friendship find a way to make it up to her no matter wat it takes!
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  + ♥, writes (22 August 2009):
 In my senior year of high school I had a huge blow out with a girl I'd been best friends with since we were 5, and it was of course, over a boy. We both liked him, but neither of us had him. Until he picked me. I asked her if she was okay with it. She said sure, go ahead. So I did. She totally flipped out and ended our friendship. I dated the boy about 2 years and then realized what a cheat he was. It wasn't until after I got married to someone else, and lost my mother, that my long lost friend made contact with me. We have been friends ever since and sometimes even laugh about the silly fight we had over that guy, we now know wasn't worth either of our time. Lasting relationships will bounce back. It may take a few years, but if there was real substance between you, it'll return someday. For now, just make new friends. The change will do you good.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (22 August 2009):
 People come and go in our lives. Mary came, and then she went. One day you two may bump into each other when you're dropping off your kids at the daycare, and things may click just fine. You should never force a friendship. Relationships rarely break up over just one thing, it's usually an accumulation of little annoyances, that just build up over time until there is that one straw that breaks the whole thing. My guess is, the two of you had been quietly drifting apart and you just failed to see it until the final hour. It's time for you to make a new friend, and let this one go. Distance is a great healer of trivial things.
...............................
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (22 August 2009):
You obviously struggle in moving on as she played such an important role in your life for so long and when thats cut so abruptly for whatver reason the hurt can really damage what you had and in this case it never falls back into normality.
In a way i think your both partly to blame, blame isnt the issue here, everyone makes mistakes and we usualy take things out on the ones were closest too, its sorting it out after thats the issue and in this case its been an ongoing issue your obviously eager to address.
Have you tried talking to her? this girl was once your best friend? how can being so open and honest back fire? rejection scares each and every one of us but if you never tak the first step forward youll never know.
Who knows she may be feeling the same? Try talking to her id start along the lines of remeber how close we used to be? i really miss that..
Wait for her reaction, always keep in mind the importance of close friends, she obviously was as it still means so much.
Ive learnt to let go of the things that dont matter in order to hold on to the things, people, that do.
Dont let what you once had and could still have let go over a simple piece of your past. Move on into the future with her in your life, things take time but if you want the friendship back then start talking to her. You both made mistakes that im sure your both now fully aware of your now mature enough to handle them and after a year im sure you both want to resolve them.
Never move on until your sure, your still questioning which indicates you are holding on for something, she was obviously a very good friend to you, get that back.
Best of luck
...............................
|
