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Should I message this friend again?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Im unsure of whether to send someone a message about how I feel , basically we aren't friends anymore , we were more like acquaintances but I did spend some time with him and tried to get to know him . He told me he liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend however I didn't feel the same way and did not tell him this straight away as I wasn't sure how I felt partly because he never paid me back after I lent him some money which made me think he was not interested in me and was just going to use me and sometimes I wasn't sure if I just wanted to have someone to talk to , have him as a friend or a boyfriend so I think it came across as though I was leading him on although this was not my intention and did not mean to do so.

about 2 weeks ago he didn't reply to my messages and we haven't talk since which has surprised me because its the first and longest time he hasn't talk to me since I met him and I highly doubt he will send me a message since its been 2 weeks . in the two weeks I haven't spoken to him its made me realise that I really do just want to spend time with him and nothing more like I definitely know I don't want to be his girlfriend and just want a friendship .

The advice I want is whether to message him at all , whether just to not bother messaging him seen as though he didn't reply and it wasn't like we were friends as I said more like acquaintances or whether to send him a message and say id just like to be friends . I know that if I message him and he doesn't reply ill feel a bit sad or he may even put something mean although hes never really been mean before, if I don't message him at all ,ill feel slightly happier as sometimes messaging someone can do more harm then good and people come and go throughout life and I need to get better at accepting this .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2018):

Keep away from him.

He wont pay you back your money even if you ask for it.

He'll fob you off while keeping you hanging on 'ripening'.

You sound so decent!

How can this guy be good for you.

I would guess his online activities are his hobby and his cash spinner.

He probably has a baby mother who demanded he produce some cash for napies and milk and he 'borrowed' off you.

Meanwhile he bedded someone who wasnt just getting over the birth of his child and still bleeding down below.

Oh no!

You dont need this guy.

Not as a friend.

Not as a scammer.

Not as a bedder when he's pushed your buttons.

You need to tell yourself you paid a price for knowing him and sling the outlay to the breeze.

You fortunately didnt have a child and didnt have to wake up to the fact that your bloke got his cash from someone gullible he was chatting up on line. And he got his V.D. from the quickie with another bird.

But as he cant pass vd onto the newborn he can still handle the baby before popping to the clinic for treatment before asking you if you can spare more cash again before getting back to the missus swearing he's been faithful and he doesnt know why this gal keeps phoning him up at 11pm.?

He is not your cup of tea.

Be thankful!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2018):

My dad used to say: "If you want to get rid of somebody, lend them money!"

Make one final-request for him to repay the money he borrowed. That is the one and only reason you should ever contact that jerk again! Get your feelings out of it! They don't mean squat to him!

If he doesn't reply, write it off; block and delete him from your phone, and all your social media accounts.

Have nothing more to do with him. He's a scammer! He will not respond to your messages. If he does, he thinks you're a sucker and he'll sweet-talk some more money out of you! Don't buy friendship; money shouldn't even come-up!

You've got to get your emotions under control; and stop making half-minded decisions. You also better teach yourself to be more decisive about what you want. You're all over the place! You like him, but not that much, not sure how much you like him, not that way but...

NOW you think you like him?!! SERIOUSLY?!!

Only because he pulled the most effective player-stunt in the player's handbook! Lay-on the sweet-talk nice thick and gooey! Play hurt by her rejection. Ignore her messages, and make HER feel rejected. Then after she feels bad and hurt long enough; comeback and act like nothing ever happened.

You got played for your money, and that sly little moocher took-off with no intent to ever pay it back!!! He goes on line and probably pulls that stunt on one girl after another! If you're not going to be smart while meeting strangers on the internet, expect to get played a lot!

It's good you feel bad; because it will teach you to use your head when you're dealing with guys you've met on the internet. You shouldn't fall for sweet-talk; and DON'T YOU EVER GIVE ANYBODY MONEY THAT YOU'VE MET ON THE INTERNET!

NEVER...EVER!!!

He is not just one of those people passing through your life. He's a scammer, who is online taking money from people; and then disappearing! He was nice just long enough to gain your trust; gave you a sob story, then took your money.

Don't date guys who don't have a job, or have money problems!

Common-sense 101!

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