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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: On wednesday I'm supposed to meet up with a 43 year old man off this chat room, I'm just not sure if I want to.We first started talking when I was 16 and he really wanted to meet me and we would talk fir hours on the phone an skype etc, i decided recently to get back in contact with him the other day and he has booked a hotel near my house in the suburbs, he says if I don't want to meet him he will be disapointed but always wantsit to be my decision.I know he feels like he missed out on youth because he was shy an I think he is probably trying to regain some youth or something.We've talked alot and there would be toomuch to write here but I'll answer any questions people want me to. What do you lot think I should do??He did once say that he wouldn't even talk to a 15 year old girl because they're underage.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ShyNick  +, writes (25 June 2010):
hi to all I am old enough to understand a male's mind so:A man in 43 easily likes to feel young and do sex with a girl in 16 or even prefer young ones for many reasons. But the 27 years difference in these ages are so many for any relationship. If you was 30 and he was 57 the difference would be less and sure thing you would have some relations from 16 to 30 you would know what you prefer and what you need in any relation and it would be your choice but now what is your relations with males? Have you done any relation? did you had a boyfriend be in love for a period? have you done sex? Do you know what you like and what you prefer? It's you that you must answer to yourself. So everything is in your choices first of all. There are not so many people in the world to help you if first of all you are not helping yourself. I really don't care what a man needs in 43 he has lived his life. But YOU have you lived it? Even if you have started living your life you are still in the beginning you have a whole future to live and to understand and realize what you prefer for your life. So the idea satisfying an old gay with whom you are in a virtual friendship for me doesn't mean anything.I agree with all the reasons that people saying not to meet him for safety reasons but also I value a girl of 16 so much higher than any gay unable to do the best for her, and sure a 43 old man can't do what a boyfriend in your age will try to do for YOU. So my advice would be find a man in about your age who is in love with you.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (22 June 2010):
 Good choice sweetie...very smart thing to do!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Hey, take care of yourself! I've found life is a lot easier when you don't have to lie to people. Drama is highly overrated!
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (21 June 2010):
 SMART GIRL!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, I'm going to tell him we are keeping it online. Thankyou so much guys
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (21 June 2010):
Sweetie..please don't go through with this. It just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You know on the computer a person can pretend to be anyone, or anything...its easy to hide. But truly..you don't know him. PLEASE don't meet him. If you feel you have to meet him..then DO NOT go alone and meet in a public place. Do not go off ANYWHERE with him alone. You just don't know what this man may be thinking. I'm sorry to say but most 40 year old men that take an interest in a girl your age do NOT have the girl's best interests at heart! USE YOUR HEAD AND USE EXTREME CAUTION! PLEASE!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): im 15 year old & i know this is a bad idea, so why dont you?
no respectable 43 year old man should be chatting up 16 year olds,
ask your self these questions.
what would a 43 year old want with a 16 year old?
why hasnt he got friends of his own age?
arent most 43 year old men usualy married?
why is he talking to you?
how many other 16 year olds do you think he will be meeting up with?
are chat rooms a good idea to meet up with people?
if i was you id take at least 3 friends & meet him at a very packed place so loads of people can see you, if he asked to leave with you to a quieter place say no & take your phone.
tell you mam were your going,
OR just dont go at all, thats what i would do.
good luck babe xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 June 2010):
This is sounding more and more like a bad idea. If this is a hidden relationship, then there's a reason you can't be upfront and open about this with your parents and friends. And that reason generally means that someone is up to something that they KNOW other people will find worrying.
I think it sounds dangerous and ill-advised. Only if you can bring along your parents or several friends would I say 'go ahead with it.'
This isn't normal behavior from a 43 year old man, that's for certain. I know lots of them, and I sincerely doubt any of them would be chatting up teenagers on the internet just to make friends. I doubt any of them would be chatting up teenagers, but who knows what people get up to in their private lives.
It all sounds bad to me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 June 2010):
Booked a hotel room near your home? You might not be thinking about sex. He is. And that's a fact.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 June 2010):
 May I suggest that a hotel to meet someone over 20 years your senior is not the right place for a first meeting?
I also VERY highly recommend that you are NOT alone when you meet the guy? Even if it's 2 years that you have talked with him, it's easy to make up a personality and persona online.
Also, before you meet him, you should invest some money in a background check on him, which I'm sure you haven't done. Previous addresses, criminal and civil history, and possibly occupational and education history.
You are only one you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy parents don't know, and we are sort of using each other. Not trying to defend him just saying
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 June 2010):
What did your parents say?
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A
female
reader, ShelbyS01201 +, writes (21 June 2010):
 If you've never met him before, it is a recipe for disaster. He might be some kind of child predator looking for a young female to satisfy his urges. They start off sweet, but they get dangerous real quickly. DON'T listen to him, and your best bet is to cut all contact with him and ignore any further communication from him to yourself. The last thing your family needs is a missing child in the hands of some creep.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (21 June 2010):
Oh, I'd agree that he's definitely trying to regain some youth, yes I certainly do.
Problem is I don't think it's *his* youth he's trying to regain, sweetie.
I'm thinking he must be at least 20 years your senior?
I predict that if you meet up with this man, you're going to find out that his genuine interest in you always has been all about "youth" Be smart. Be careful!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd just like to make it clear to anyone as the title makes it sound different we are meeting up as more than friends and plan to have sex
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
This is really quite unsafe. You've never met him before, yet you're on the verge of meeting him? You don't really know whether he's married or not, and it seems as if he's out to just use yo. I just don't think this is a good idea.
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