A
female
age
30-35,
*um2two
writes:hello again, need help. my hubby is to friendly w/girls on facebook he has them sending him pics and flirting plus hes friends w/ ALL his ex`s. he tells me that me and the kids are 1 of the reasons why he wants to start drinking. i ask him fif he wants a devores he just wont answer i dont know what to do. should i try and make it work or should i get me and the kids a ticket back to my family in ak? he cant be hppy with me if he flirting with wemon and wants to start drinking because mein the kids, i think to make him happy i should leave
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 June 2012):
 You need to do what you want to do.
If he's drinking and disrespecting you that's HIS CHOICE and it's NOT YOUR FAULT but is he the kind of man you want raising your children with you?
the fact that he blames his bad behavior on you shows that he's not ready to be an adult...
IF you have to ask what to do you know deep in your heart you are not happy and the kids are not happy...
it's NOT YOUR JOB to make HIM happy. It's your job to make YOU happy and to keep your kids healthy happy and safe.
Where can you BEST do this?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): I dont think it will be possible for you to make things work on your own. It takes both people to make things work. Because of the way he is behaving and the fact that he wont discuss things with you, I would be inclined to think he has already left the relationship really. He just doesnt have the courage to say it in words so he is letting his actions speak for him. He is behaving really badly, probably wanting you to end things for him. It is a sign of weakness on his part. But that probably doesnt surprise you.
I think if he had any feelings for you at all, he would have piped up when you asked if he wanted a divorce instead of staying silent. That WAS your answer really.
If I were in your place, I would take the kids and go home to my parents. Before things get worse and he carries out his `threat` and actually does start drinking. This man is not good to you or for you x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): The real reason he wants to start drinking is because he knows that he, not anyone else, is the cause of his own pain. He's projecting his own guilt onto you and your children. This way, he feels he is justified to place the blame on someone other than himself.
The truth is, by spending time flirting with other girls online, he's neglecting his very real family. If I were you, I'd tell him that if he starts leaning on alcohol, or continues to neglect or blame you and the kids, that you're leaving, and won't wait around while he goes from bad to worse. Acting on temptation is one thing, but blaming your family for your failures is much worse, and shouldn't be tolerated. This means he's not even close to being willing to accept responsibility for his own actions.
Don't be afraid to tell him you'll leave if it continues.. and do so, even if it's only temporarily. Many times people don't realize the extent of damage or hurt feelings their actions incur. Moving away for awhile may very well help him do a 360 degree turnaround, once he realizes what he's missing in real life while treating everything like a joke.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Is this the type of man you want to be with? One who cheats right in front of you and tells you you are the reason he wants to start drinking? I agree...leave because you want to and want a better life for you and your children.
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A
male
reader, Globalwalyy +, writes (18 June 2012):
hmmm, dont let his chracter ruin your life, if u know u are not happy being with him, i suggest you leave, ur own happiness is the main issue, and are u both engage in any fight or what?
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Do not leave to make him happy!
Leave for the sake of yourself and more importantly your children. I promise you will find happiness but you will not find it with him. He sounds like a horrible being and you should get out of there and never look back.
Good luck pet x
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A
female
reader, Sammia +, writes (18 June 2012):
Forget about his happiness he obviously doesn't care about yours. What do you want? Do you want this man treating you like an emotional punching bag? That is what this is. Don't let him make you feel guilty he is the one who is in the wrong. If he wants to leave he knows where the door is. Try talking to him see what is said he might just be feeling insecure, however he has no right to say he wants to drink because of you and the kids. Speak to him but don't let him make you feel it's your fault. Speak to a close friend about this too, they might be able to help more knowing the whole situation. Good luck
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