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Should I let go now or forgive him since we weren't officially dating?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Crushes, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2015)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Should I let go now or forgive him since we weren't officially dating?

ok so I need some advice , so me and this guy have been talking for about eight months now but we are not officially together he and I both decided that until I moved then we would make things official.

Although there is no title or label on what we are we act like a couple already he is very jealous and already tells me things he rather not have me doing and I am the same way we say I love you talk 24/7 he's meet some of my family and I have meet some of his as well but last night one of his girl friends tried to befriend facebook and when I asked him about her he got very upset so I kept asking him why and It took him a while but he finally told me why he got like that and it was because 2 months ago that girl introduced him to one of her friends..

He said that he was really drunk and they had sexual intercourse. now this hurts me so much because I love and care so deeply for him but I don't know if I should forgive him and let it go or if I should just let this whole what ever we are go????

View related questions: drunk, facebook, I love you, jealous

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI have to agree with Euphoria30

The whole "we didn't have a label" is a poor excuse for what he did. Almost as BAD as the "I was so drunk that I had sex with this chick". IF he was REALLY remorseful he would have TOLD you two months ago and asked how he could EVER make it up to you.

Sorry, I would not tolerate this.

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A female reader, Euphoria30 Germany +, writes (30 May 2015):

Dear OP,

Maybe I am too old to understand this "label" thing, but for me, when you say you love someone and introduce them to your family, and you also get jealous, it's clear somehow that this is a relationship and is meant to be exclusive.

Which means: He cheated on you. And lied until you discovered it. Because he knew, deep down, that this was NOT okay.

It's up to you if you want to forgive him over time, but please don't feel forced to do so because of some uncertainty about the label of your arrangement.

And next time, make sure you know what it is that you are having with someone and make the rules together.

Good luck!

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A male reader, yours2015 Australia +, writes (30 May 2015):

Dear friend !

It is understandable to feel hurt on the bad news of her personal act.

But he still in relationship with you.

I believe you only a person to get him back by forgive and forget.

Then, keep in touch with him.

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