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Should I let bygones be bygones and take another chance with her or should I walk away and always wonder what could have been?

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2010)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

A very long time ago I was dating a girl that I was completley in love with. It's been twenty years ago. She played me for a fool and was sleeping with another guy. She wouldn't even have sex with me so when I found out I broke up with her. Shortly afterwards she quit seeing the other guy and after about a month she and I were seeing each other again. She was at my house and we went to my bed but I just couldn't bring myself to have sex with her. I was still very angry with her so we just didn't do it. After that we actually quit seeing each other. About a year later she phoned me and told me that she was sorry about how she treated me and that no one else was as good to her as I was. She said she wanted to see me. I drove over and we got in my car and we pulled up to a place and just talked for a while. She told me she wanted to have sex with me in the car and I told her that we needed a condom. She told me not to worry about it and that I could just pull out. I said, I really don't want to get you pregnant and then I saw this weird look in her eyes and I just asked her this, are you pregnant? She said yes. I drove her home and then I did something I am not proud of at all but that night I slept with her friend. I only did it to get to my exgirlfriend. I used a poor girl that actually liked me. Even worse I had a one night stand with my ex's sister about a year later. Well I really stepped in it then because I got her sister pregnant. Because we had a child together we have been tied at the hip. I have run into my ex girlfriend from time time and I have seen her mature over the years. After all this time and after as cruel as we have been to each other I still have feelings for her. At this point in time she is not in a relationship and neither am I. She wants to take another shot with me. Should I let bygones be bygones and take another chance with her or should I walk away and always wonder what could have been?

View related questions: broke up, condom, ex girlfriend, my ex, one night stand

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010):

2o years later and you have not learnt anything. Look at the lies, deceit that this woman inflicted on you. You must reaaly be a sucker for punishment for wanting her back in your life. She is bad news. You messed up other womens lives because of her betrayal, now you will destroy your as well if you allow her into your life.

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A male reader, Brunel Wallis and Futuna +, writes (23 March 2010):

Your age 45+ you have acted like a 15 year old? What planet are you on to?

You need to sort yourself out and give relationships a miss? You have screwed up and made a complete arse of yourself

Get clear of it all?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

exe's are exe's for a reason my friend despite how much effort you put into it or how much you think she has "changed" the fact of the matter is people do not change and if you already have a child with her sister that is a hornets nest you dont need to prod take it from experience if it wasn't right the first time it wont be right the 2nd or 3rd or the 50th time

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A female reader, Entirely Unique United Kingdom +, writes (23 March 2010):

Entirely Unique agony auntIf you still have feelings for her and you have been able over this time to let go what she did to you then I would suggest giving it another chance.

In the time you've been apart you have both probably changed alot but remember she could also still be that same person and could hurt you again, on the other hand she might well have learnt from her past and this could work out this time round.

Be prepared for the fact that things will be different, you can't have that kind of time go by, children born, relationships in the time passed and think everything will be like it was when the relationship ended, you might find that once you give this relationship a go that actually you're not really right for each other but I do believe some things are worth trying and seeing just incase you're about to let something good go.

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