A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. And we are about to buy our own house. He takes care of me etc..i don't know if all guys are like this or just him. I need to know if I'm making the correct decision. Anything sets him off when things don't go his way he gets angry and in a bad mood. Last night he asked me to go the store with him,at the store we were fine but when we got back home he was in a bad mood for no reason, we did not argue or anything. Anyway he said he wanted to be left alone. Then said he loved me. Wtf!! So i told him how can you say you love me then say you want to be left alone. I don't get it. Also when i ask him to do something i want to do.got example a picnic he will go but then starts an argument. But when he wants to go something that i don't want to do. I do it. Because sometimes you have to sacrifice. But when he goes out with his friends he has a blast. Idk. Maybe i am overreacting. Or is this wrong? Of course i have not posted everything he does. But you get the jist. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (17 October 2011):
I don't think you've given enough details to justify someone telling you to leave your boyfriend after 4 years together, that's quite a long time to be together.
Relationships are about compromise, and about finding a way that both people are happy. He might get in bad moods, and that might never change, but if that is all it is, then you need to accept him rather than expect him to change. On the other hand, he might be acting "moody" because you guys don't communicate as well as you could do.
From what you say, your boyfriend can act a little immature with his emotions, he needs to try learn to say things before they become issues in his head.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (17 October 2011):
 Hi,
I understand how you feel, and I agree with you. You are a very kind, understanding girlfriend. Very patient, and you know the meaning sacrifice, relationship is about understanding each other, and you know it well. I think you have a almost perfect relationship. He loves you, take care of you, etc.
When you think time is right, when he's in a good mood, I think you should have a honest talk with him. Tell him how you feel, and what makes you uncomfortable. You ask him questions, too. You both need to talk, otherwise this won't go away. It's all about making the relationship better. I am not sure what's going on with him, why he has these mood swings, but whatever the reason is, you both need to solve it, before it gets more serious. I am sure it's not a big deal, I am sure it's not even a problem. Sounds like is more a miscommunication. I am sure you both can cone to terms, and things will be perfect.
For now, let things cool off a bit, maybe buying a new home is making him stress, may something at work? Hopefully in few days you both can have a calm, friendly talk...
Hope this helps, hope you can make the relationship stronger, and congratulations on your new home. Best wishes
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, noonespecial5612 +, writes (17 October 2011):
It is him. He has a short temper and used to things going his way or getting his way. I can tell you this is true by your description. Things need to be what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants. If you do it your way (right or wrong,) then he will get mad at you.My theory is over time as you live with him he will expect you to take more and more responsibility of doing everything needed. Over time he will do less and less. Over time he will become more and more critical of you, less and less caring of if he critiques hurt you, barely ever apologize (if at all,) and you will always be the one in the wrong.When you try to explain things or give reasons, he will tell you they are excuses. You always make up stupid excuses. He will expect you to learn what he likes, how he likes it, and basically read his mind.... And you will feel less and less loved. Sometimes he'll be great but you'll be walking on eggshells. And feel alone and isolated and stupid.So, I think wait to buy a house. Maybe anger management would be a good idea.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 I don't think you're overreacting. You have picked up some 'red flags' which naturally you're worried about considering you're about to make a big leap in your relationship.
I can't tell from your post whether you live with your boyfriend or if you're just now buying a place and will start living together soon. If you don't live together, I would suggest trying that out first (without the major committment of buying property) just to see how things go.
Has he been like this for all 4 years you've been together? Is this something more recent?
Only you know him and only you know if this is something you want to 'deal' with in the future. I am not saying this could happen, but it is possible that when things get rough, money gets tight and other life pressures come down on you two, his temper could get even worse. Have you thought of that?
You say that you sometimes have to sacrifice. We all have to compromise a little in relationship but there's a fine line between compromise and being a doormat.
I think you should take more time to think about this relationship and its future potential, before making a huge committment and buying a house with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (17 October 2011):
 I'd say you should talk to him, tell him what upsets you, the stuff you just said, and if he doesn't try to change, he isn't worth your time.
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