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Should I keep the guy...or the self-centred friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have known my best friend for about 3 years now.

About 10 months ago she began dating a guy that we have both been friends with for a while.

They recently broke up, and about a week later she began seeing another guy.

At the same time, her ex (my friend) asked me if I would like to go out with him, I told him I wasn't sure because of the fact my friend had gone out with him.

I asked my friend if she still had feelings for her ex, and she replied (exact quote) "Not at all! And I know you have liked him for a long time, so why don't you try things out with him?"

This made me really happy, so I began dating her ex.

A few weeks into our relationship my friend told me i was a b**** for going out with her ex, but she had been perfectly fine with it before. She told me if I didn't break up with him immediatly she would hate me.

I really love this guy, and I know my best friend should come first, but she is always doing this to me.

And "by doing this to me", I mean, always doing things to benefit herself, not caring a thing about me.

I go out of my way to make her happy,she has dated my ex's many times. But any time I want something from her, she doesn't care.

The one time I go out with one of her ex's, who I really have feelings for, she doesn't care if it makes me happy or not.

Should I keep the guy and lose the friend?

Or lose the guy and keep a self centered friend?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, her ex, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 July 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntWell you done the right thing by talking to her first and making sure she was OK about it. She explained to you that she was and for you to carry on. Therefore it is her own problem that she has changed her mind now. Talk to her and tell her you are sorry but she gave you her blessing to date him and you are not going to break up with him now just because she has changed her mind. Tell her she should have told you before you got with him so she is to late now. If she falls out with you well then it is her loss. Am sure she will get over it in time. Put yourself first for once.

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