A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 and my little brother is 19. We were quite close and brought up by a single mother.I bought a house 2 years ago but still made an effort with my family, and I regularly call my mum. Well my brother has recently moved into a flat with his girlfriend and it's about an hours drive away. Ever since I moved out he stopped making an effort - I would see him about once or twice a year, and only text every few months. Now that he's moved in with his girlfriend he makes zero effort. I haven't seen him in 6 months and feel hurt that he never replies to my texts (occasionally I'll send him a message on Facebook but he's always busy - I even text him as a joke 'you too busy to text your big sis lol?!' It's not just me either, he doesn't bother with my mum. I had to tell him he'd better visit our grandparents as they are elderly and he used to go down every week when he was at school. I'm not sure if it's his age or if it's because he has a girlfriend- who I've never met.I should also mention that he bought me a lovely birthday pressie - though he was busy when he dropped it off and only stayed for 1 minute.Should I confront him about this? I'm scared if I don't that we'll lose our relationship for good - but I don't want to make an effort if he isn't.Thanks in advance!!! :)
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2016):
 He is young and he has just moved out off home, he is on a big adventure with his girlfriend and probably does not see the need to check in with family. He knows where you are if he needs you, but he has just spread his wings and making a life off his own.
I know you don't want to be making all the effort, but he is a young man who probably does not see it like you do. It does not mean he doesn't care about you or he doesn't feel as close to you he is just making a life for himself. Make plans with him, maybe you could all go away for a weekend or make the most off family gatherings.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (9 October 2016):
 What's more important to you: your relationship with the little brother you were once so close to, or your pride? I am guessing not the latter so it is going to be up to you to do the running.
Males - especially teenagers, which he still is - are notoriously bad at understanding the need to stay in touch. Your brother is just a typical male. He needs it pointing out to him.
You don't need me to tell you NOBODY is too busy to text someone. That is just another way of saying "you are not on my list of priorities".
Given his age, and the fact he has moved in with his girlfriend, you and your mum are way down his list of priorities at the moment. So it is up to you, as the big sister, to make sure you don't lose contact all together. Can you maybe arrange to meet half way for a meal (including your mum)? Or invite him and his girlfriend over for a meal and to stay the night?
Why are you limiting contact to texts and Facebook? Pick up the phone and speak to him. That way he can't ignore you.
Good luck.
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