A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So....my problem is men related! Nothing new there then! Haha! I'll keep it (try to) as brief as possible. But basically I think I'm being blown out and lost guy I think was right for me. I met him 4 months ago, he told me from first date didn't do relationships not looking for one...(major issues from past) now model and gorgeous looking and basically player. Anyway too be honest I was very self aware by the fact he was too good looking for me, too successful and self assured. Where as I am average looking, in average job etc. So I do what I swear I wouldn't do and what many women have done and always do.....fell head over heals from him. We were (up until few weeks ago) speaking everyday etc...we'd see each other once a week and then once fortnight spend whole weekend together. We got on great...amazing sex and tell each other everything so close... We even talked about having kids and all thatI just thought to myself if only he wanted one...we'd end up married with kids...so right (in my eyes!!!) not his, he says yes and no when ask if right together and that his looking to meet someone and instantly know she's the one! And things about me that he feels is not suited to him! :( so....not only has this happens but I know and knew from start he sees other women but somehow I thought I was the main girl (rest sex) as he couldn't possible speak to others as much as me....but now i think I've been blown out by him. He use to live with these lovely guys and now last month moved in with stunning model and since then gone cold. Then 2 weeks a ago a female housemate moved in and his gone even colder his hanging out with her and her friends and his spoken to me once since! We had plans (made Thursday) to meet tonight and guess what for first time blown me out....he hasn't contacted me all weekend and ignored me about tonight. I'm gutted. Friends tell me to forget him. That accept his gone and not coming back. And his no good anyway!!! But I met someone last night and nothing happened and all I could think was his not as perfect for me as the guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): I had the same experience recently. It really hurts. He lied to me in the beginning, same thing he said he is ready for serious relationship, i even thought he is too much for a first date, i did not have feelings to him yet.
Then I felt he started changing, being caring in the beginning he started to be a player, talking about other girls, his exs, and i realized that he is a jerk.
But by that time I had strong feelings to him.
He started paying hard to get. How women want him and there is nothing he can't get. I wanted to be with him so much. I felt he did not trust women and that was the reason he was like that to me.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (7 August 2011):
 It sounds like the guy you were seeing was stringing you along until something better came along.
I hate to say it to you, but a lot of guys are jerks like this. While it doesn't make it hurt any less, it should make you somewhat grateful for the fact that you didn't have children nor got married to this guy.
The best way to get over someone like this is:
1) Find someone new
2) Remind yourself that this guy was up to no good.
3) Remind yourself that you have a better character than your ex and are worth a high-quality, respectful man (by the way, quit putting yourself down -- it only makes you more likely to attract guys like that one you were with).
Finally, when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship, take him at his word and leave him behind, unless you want a no-strings attached relationship.
Good luck and soon enough you'll find happier times.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): This guy seems like a bigtime player. Listen to your friends--consider it a blessing that you are no longer played by this jerk.--4 months is way to long to be associated with this kind of guy. It takes time and self esteem but eventually you will move on and meet the right guy for you. Don't compare any new potentials to this douche bag!
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 He was a player and just interested in sex. It's a hard thing to accept but he could not be any future to you. Your friends are right. He wont be in touch unless he wants sex again. That's when you must be strong and walk away.
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