A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of over 5 years told me last night that he loves me and thinks we'll probably end up married one day but he can't say for sure as he 'doesn't have a crystal ball.' I'm quite gutted and think that if he doesn't know by now he'll never know, but he wants me to stay in a relationship with him. I don't know if I can - I feel this has changed everything between us as he's obviously not serious about us having a future if he's not even considered it. Should I just cut my losses or give him more time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 December 2014):
 He knows by now, you are not the one for him. If you proposed, he would say no. Children with you are not important to him. He knows you can not wait until you are 35 if you want kids. When you find the right nan, at your age, you cant afford to wait, as concieving can be difficult, regardless of your age. It can happen in a month, or in 10 years! A friend if mine has a 12 year old and a 2 year old, because of difficulties conceiving. If you know what you want, you cant waste your time. 5 more years is waaaay too long for a "maybe". It is time to face the facts: you are not the one he wants. He doesnt sound like he even knows what ge wabts, and will probably never know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2014): You have a right to set your own time-table. You want kids and to settle down. You don't have to wait around playing the guessing-game as to when this dude wants to settle-down.
Another five-years? He's already taken that big of a chunk out of your life.
I'd say you gave him long enough. Follow your gut. He's getting the milk without buying the cow. That's an old cliche, but appropriate for your situation. He may have another five years to sit on his thumbs, that doesn't mean you have to sit in waiting.
Do what's best for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually I spoke to him again tonight and he said he might be ready in about 5 years. I don't know whether to believe that as I'll be almost 35 by then and I'm scared I'll struggle to conceive :(
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