A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ive been in a relationship for the past 8yrs and we have been through a lot. He is also 7 years older. i know im not the pretty young thing like i used to be but things feel like their going nowhere. No more spark. not much conversation. not too much sex. I am wondering if he has someone new? 4 months ago I recently started talking to and texting my old High School Crush. He is 1 year younger then me. We talk for hours and get along great. he has his own place. Got a good job. Makes Great money. he wants me to be his woman. i dont know what to do. im afraid to step out and try something new. because my relationship now feels like we are an OLD MARRIED COUPLE.My crush is offering me the world. Take me shoping. Go meet his family. Take me on a cruise. Go travelling accross the U.S.A. And i wouldnt have to worry about nothing. sounds like a trip to paradise right? But one thing He is High Class, in EVERYTHING. The kind of car he drives, the clothes he wears, the places he shops, even down to the food he eats. I'm confused. Dont know if i should jump on board or not. Please help.
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crush, money, spark, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (25 February 2012):
 this is a true story just food for thought. it happened to a guy a work with his wife left him for an old boyfriend that contacted her out of the blue. he was wealthy , she took off with him they flew for a romantic getaway. she was with him for a while until he started thinking about his future. he went back to his wife , she and her family owned most of the company that he had his wealth in. needless to say the wife of the guy i work with is high and dry , by her lonely. just be careful of what you wish for.
A
male
reader, Masterofpuppets +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Is the grass greener? I would be wary of someone that offers me the world..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Wow the 7 year itch rears it’s ugly head.
You do realize you sound like a teenager don’t you:
“he has his own place”
“we talk for hours and get along great”
“got a good job”
“makes great money”
“he wants me to be his woman”
“my crush is offering me the world”
“take me shopping”
“go meet his family”
“take me on a cruise”
“go travelling across the USA”
And after you do all these things what happens???
Will all his money and high living make you happy?
I agree with Aunty Bim Bim that time alone to figure out yourself is important… I also agree with Honeypie that you need to end what you have first then move on.
Would you leave if you didn’t have the crush in the picture?
I just ended a marriage (well he left but he never would have left me if he had not had someone to go to..,. it’s sad to watch someone so dependent on others that he can’t bear to be alone)
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Right now I'd settle for boring and dependable. Fast pace jet setters usually burn out pretty quickly and the fact that he is offering so much, knowing you are married is a bit of a red flag.
It also makes me wonder why the guy whos so high class and fabulous isn't married himself.
If you arnt happy in your marriage then its your right to leave and end things but do it for you and your life and not because some blast from the past is tempting you with a high class carrot on a pole!!!
xxx
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 February 2012):
 It's pretty sad that you're willing to throw away 8 years of marriage for such material things. Almost everything you mentioned about your high school crush is about money and buying things. What about love, companionship, finding someone who will be there for you thick and thin? A credit card with no limit won't provide that.
Of course you're free to do as you like and if you decide to go with your crush you should divorce your husband first. But in my opinion, you should probably try to work things out with your current husband. Eventually you will most likely run into the same problems with your crush from high school. This is just a quick fix.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (24 February 2012):
 You are in a situation where you are not enjoying yourself.
Here you have a chance to, at worst, live a little and enjoy the company of a travel partner, an old lover, and experience life for once.
We all have things we regret.
Rather than thinking about possibly regretting leaving a mediocre relationship for the world, think about regretting not leaving a mediocre relationship and denying the world.
I don't know this old flame from your past. He could be an evil man, but you know him. If he is a great person and is naturally interested in giving you something you truly desire, the answer is clear.
Don't regret not doing anything. If there is going to be a regret, let there be a regret where you actually experience life.
Life is one big movie. Make yours exciting.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I don't know if the new guy (old crush) will be the answer to your dreams, but I see no reason for you staying in a relationship where you are clearly not happy.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): go for it. get a new life. does it matter if everything is high class as he can afford it and is offering it all to you.
i would advise you to have a back-up plan in mind if it doesn't work out. but as far as how to get out of your current unsatisfactory relationship with no material/financial worries or feelings of loneliness as you try to re-build your life without your current partner, it would appear ideal for you. take a chance and enjoy yourself x
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (24 February 2012):
the grass is greener on the other side, at least from the view you are looking at it. all you mentioned was his wealth,trips he could take you on, cars he drives, food he eats. so it is time to trade in the old and test drive the shiny exciting new guy.what do you know of him besides money . will he be their for you? maybe you need to let your partner know how you feel about your current unhappy living, not much conversation,not much sex,ect. it sounds like you two need to set down and have a heart to heart talk, before you do something drastic.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 February 2012):
 It sounds like you want to be, Material girl.
If you aren't currently happy end that before you start something new.
I see nothing about love in your post..
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Well, at 67 I still remember those feelings of First Love...they're always etched in your brain,however life changes and I suspect my appearances would be unacceptable now to her so I must move those thoughts to the last cubby hole in the brain.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 My concern here is that you seem prepared to leap from one relationship straight into another. How do you know that you haven't been dazzled by his material wealth and that it wont be a case of from the frying pan into the fire?
As for the new one wanting to make you "his woman" wouldn't you prefer to be your own woman?
Have you tried talking to your current partner, are you really willing to throw the past 8 years away without even trying to get your relationship back on track?
Personally I have a problem with people who walk away from one relationship straight into another, they dont give themselves time to sort the baggage from the old relationship and just take it all along with them for the ride.
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