A
female
age
30-35,
*oeismeanyou
writes:Hey Guys! I'm engaged and am due to have a small intimate wedding in January. My issue is that I don’t want to invite my dad. My dad and I don't have a relationship whats-so-ever. My mom passed away when I was 1 1/2 and didn't step up to take care of me and my sister. My sister (E) and I ended up living with my Grandmother and then with my oldest half-sister (moms 1st daughter) afterwards due to my grandmother getting too old. See, my dad seemed to be able to get re-married and have 2 more kids, which I don't mind, but it seemed like he would forget about us. We would go to his house maybe 2-4 times a year and he would call the house, but I never wanted to talk to him. He missed all of my school functions, and even missed all of my graduations (elementary, middle, and high school). He seemed to favour E like he would attend all of her things but not mine. But I think it’s because she was his 1st born child. Anyway, we have no relationship and I have no desire to invite him to my wedding. But, I know my other family members will say that I should. Should I invite him because he's my dad or don't invite him because we don't have a relationship?
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engaged, grandmother, no desire, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (20 August 2017):
Your other family members know the situation and will respect you more if you don't invite him. And they should certainly understand. He probably doesn't want to come to your wedding, anyway, and would probably be a cloud over the event for you. Weddings should be joyous, which means he shouldn't be there to mess it up for you. Weddings can also be problematic, and there will be less chance of things going wrong if he's not in attendance. On top of all that, he shouldn't be in any of the photos.
A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (18 August 2017):
Short answer:
It's your party, and you invite who you want to. Period.
Long answer:
NO! If your father is not interested in you and has been always flaky in those small but important parts of your life, then that means he will flake out of your wedding. I would not invite him if I were in your situation. Invite only people who you really want to be with, and not invite people that you barely know or that others tell "you should invite".
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 August 2017):
 Your wedding, your list. WHOM you invite is between YOU and your soon to be husband, NO ONE else.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (18 August 2017):
 If your other family members say you should invite this stranger (and I suppose his second wife and other children) to your wedding just shut them down, tell them "nope, my wedding, my guest list" and don't enter into discussion.
If they persist put up your hand and let them know you are not interested in discussing it further.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, I wish you and your to be husband a long and happy life together.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (18 August 2017):
It Is your wedding screw what your relatives have to say. This man abandoned you when you were an infant and was never there for you as you grew up. You owe him nothing.
Congratulations on your wedding and I wish you the best life possible.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (18 August 2017):
 It's YOUR wedding and YOUR feelings.
Do whatever YOU want.
Nothing to do with anyone else. He's never been there for you when you needed him, so should anyone think you owe it to invite him?
My dad left me at an early age also and I have no relationship with him. I wouldn't invite mine either.
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