A
female
age
41-50,
*ilan33
writes:I went through four years of self healing after a very manipulative relationship.I have two children and i found it very hard to get back on the dating scene itried several times but just wasn't bothered.I then out of the blue met the most wonderful man who felt very much like my soul mate, we spent a very small amount of time together, before my ex partner became aware of my new relationship and did everything in his power to break it.This resulted in him taking my buisness away as his name was still on the lease from our relationship .This was of course too much for mr wonderful in such a brief amount of time spent so he pulled away.We still text occasionally but he says he can't do the" kids thing"which is fair enougth but I know how much we liked each other before and i don't know if i should hang in there and hope we grow from just friends or just forget him .I just can't stop thinking about him.
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female
reader, milan33 +, writes (28 December 2008):
milan33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou I think deep down i knew these things ,just needed it confirming.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Despite whats happened with your ex. I feel this new guy breaking off with you was done because truthfully he didn't feel comfortable with you having children. This is just a fact and probably not one that can be overcome. You seem to think he may be using it as an excuse because of what happened with your previous partner but it seems he is just being honest. If you do try to rekindle things, how long will it be before he lets go again because of the 'kid's thing'. Don't do this to yourself again because of want. Yes you may have gotten on well with him and maybe he filled a void for a while but something so important as him not wanting to be involved with your kids will always get in the way of happiness.
Truly there are a lot of men out there, some single dads who would love to be with someone understanding where kids are concerned. It seems this man is not one of them. He maybe saw the trouble you had with your ex as an opportunity to voice his own feelings about the relationship. It's painful but cut your losses, build up days of not thinking about him and move on swiftly. If you cant stop thinking about him then occupy your mind by reading or listening to music...or better still by spending the extra time with your children. Ive been in this situation and I have found that the greatest comfort in times of need are our children
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A
female
reader, hibiscus  +, writes (27 December 2008):
I would honestly tell you to move on. Your ex will probably always be involved since you have kids together, so if he says he can't do the kids thing, then he can't.
I also feel that you might need some time for yourself to just breathe and refresh.
best wishes
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