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Should I have responded or not?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I broke up with an ex (dated for 3 months) because I caught her in a lie and because I found out she was using me. Anyways, I was very hurt and she knows she was wrong but never apologized. A friend of mine told me to just forget her and move on. And although it was tough, I followed his advice and started doing better every day.

A month after the breakup, she texted me saying "how's my dear doing"? I had no intent on replying to her but my friend (a girl) said to respond and keep it very short and that it would drive her nuts! I responded a couple times with 2-word short replies but I kinda regret doing it as it brought back memories.

Also, I feel like responding keeps me within arm's reach and even make me look desperate.

After my 2 short answers, she didn't proceed with texting further.

So should I have responded or not?

Thanks everyone!

View related questions: broke up, move on, text

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (9 January 2011):

eddie85 agony auntTexting is pretty poor way of communicating. If you want to get back with this woman, I suggest giving her a call but since you haven't heard from her in response to your recent texts, I think you should move on.

It sounds like she enjoys playing games or was in a moment of weakness and decided to see where she stood with you.

Finally, leave the text messaging stuff for the 16 year olds. It's juvenile and a very poor way to communicate emotional issues.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (9 January 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntLet's back it up to your first paragraph..

"A friend of mine told me to just forget her and move on."

This friend is wise, but you didn't exactly follow her/his advice when you replied your ex's text. Replying to her text isn't moving on, it's letting her back in a little. Where does it get you? No where but playing this texting game back and forth. Also, giving you false hope of getting back together.

My point is the next time she texts you, DO NOT text her back. Keep on moving forward and don't backtrack.

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A female reader, PatientlyWaiting1 United States +, writes (9 January 2011):

Did this happen today? It seems like she may feel that "she has you wrapped around her finger,". I am not 100% sure because I do not know her. But, there is absolutely nothing wrong with responding because she initiated it. You were being considerate. It is good that your answers to her text messages were short.

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