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Should I have a threesome with my gay best friend, and his new bi boyfriend? I'm bisexual

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends, Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My best friend is a gay man. We're really close to eachother and I feel as if I can to him about anything. I don't tend to get on with other girls that well as I find that girls tend to get quite bitchy towards me and so my relationship with my best friend is pretty much on the same level two female best friends would have. He is my best friend in the whole world. I feel as though I share a connection with him that I don't share with anyone else, on a very intimate level - we share even the most personal elements of our sex lives with eachother.

He recently began seeing a new guy who is bisexual - they are really happy together and I'm really pleased for my best friend. However last night I was on the phone to my gay friend and we were just chatting away and he mentioned that his new bf and him quite fancied a threesome between him, his bisexual boyfriend and myself - I'm also bisexual. At first I thought he was messing around, but turns out he is being deadly serious and now I'm starting to consider it.

What does everyone else think? Should I? I don't have any hang ups about threesomes or about doing this with my best friend - we are afterall best friends, and he is gay - so all he is really doing is bringing someone he trusts - me his best friend - in to the bedroom, so to spice up his sex life a bit. What does everyone think? Should I be concerned about this situation? Or should I go have some fun with my best friend? We have always been completely open with eachother and I dont feel in any way pressurised in to this - this is a decision I'm taking myself, I just would like some other peoples opinions.

View related questions: best friend, sex life, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

Anyway - just to try to add my two penn'orth. You do know what gay guys do and where they stick their penises? Do you really want to play with one after that? Sounds like a very messy business to me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

You can hardly blame the moderator for mentioning in the title the fact that you are bisexual. You must have thought it had some relevance or you wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place!

To be honest, I had to read your question three times before I got a grip on exactly what the situation was. I was wondering who the other woman was - because of your stated bisexuality! If I'd moderated your question the title would have been just about identical.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008):

Hi - im the orignal question poster. I just wanted to say I dont keep saying I'm bi. I wrote I was bisexual once in the question and this webstie automatically put that I was bisexual in the question answer. All other references to bisexuality were in regards to my friend's new boyfriend. And the reaosn it was relevant as it is his bisexuality which has made this whole thing come about - my friend wants to watch his bf with a girl. Please learn to read properly before you start trying to accuse me of being obsessed with being bisexual.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (20 March 2008):

Yos agony auntBe careful. It sounds like this could be something you want to do because you want to become closer to your gay best friend. You could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. It's very hard to stay emotionally un-involved when having sex with someone; having this threesome could trigger a whole lot of emotions in you towards your friend that are destined to go nowhere (because he's gay and you can't have a relationship). In other words, you could end up very unhappy in a few months because of this.

I would recommend caution on your part. Don't think that because you can intellectually consider something, that your emotions won't betray you afterwards.

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A female reader, shadowre Ireland +, writes (20 March 2008):

shadowre agony auntgotta say from reading the answer, lazyguy has got a point!! and ye why do you keep saying your bi!?! its a threesome with 2 GUYS. dont you know the difference!!

anyway, hope you make the right decision.

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A male reader, aim Philippines +, writes (19 March 2008):

aim agony auntThis is an amazing opportunity for you to explore your sexuality but you still should put serious thought in it. I guess what we all are concerned about is YOU. If you want to do this with your best friend and his guy you do it becuase you want to. but you should be careful that you are not doing this for the wrong reasons like for example because you have a hidden desire for your gay best friend(?). But i guess these are all complications and are just overstatements towards having a threesome.

Hey, this is your best friend whom i believe you trully trust and care about. If both of you are open to that idea then go ahead and have fun.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (18 March 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntSay these two men are serious with each other and remain in love. What are you then? A sex-toy? To be called upon when they want an extra-kink?

What about what you want? What is your benefit?

You have no hang-ups about threesomes you say, but do you actually WANT one yourself, is this YOUR fantasy as well?

You have no problem doing this for your gay friend, but your gay friend is GAY, he doesn't want you. You are doing this for the bi-sexual guy, is he your friend too?

What happens if he falls for you? How would your friend feel about that? What if you fall for him?

Threesomes are a MESS, be very sure about the feelings of all three involved and that you know what to expect emotionally. Sex is more then just humping.

What about your own relationship? There is nobody in your life right now who might have an opinion about this?

If someone you did care about found out and instantly lost intrest because of it, how would you feel?

Oh and of course what if you got pregnant, an STD?

Have fun but be prepared for trouble.

On a side note, why do you keep pointing out you're bi-sexual? Is it relevant, these are two guys, your attraction to women makes no difference.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008):

To be honest, threesomes are not exactly common, so if you think you'd enjoy it then go for it if you think you're definitely ready. I mean, life is for living, so why not take the chance and get some great experience? I'm not all FOR threesomes, I just think if you're bisexual and would enjoy one, you should go for it. Good luck :]

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