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Should I go to the party or stay away?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm thinking of going to my friend's party but im not sure if it would be wise of me to go.

The thing is, she invited this other girl who I hooked up with a few months ago, and the problem is, after I hooked up with her and text her and stuff, I completely ignored her because she wanted a relationship and I didn't. I know I should probably have talked to her before I just disappeared on her but it didnt occur to me then. I had a lot going on with other girls at that time, and I admit, I was selfish.

Now that girl is bringing all her other friends to the party and I know my reputation among her friends, may not necessarily be a good one. I know that they probably hate me for disappearing on her like that.

So now I'm torn. I don't know if I should go to the party or if I should stay away altogether. I really want to have fun with my friends at the party, but if I go, I'm afraid that the girl might get all dramatic and I'll get embarrassed, and my friends will all be unhappy. If I go, its inevitable that I will bump into her and obviously, I'm going to have to SAY something!

And even if she doesn't get dramatic, I'm afraid that there might be tension between me and my friends and her and her friends. I have a feeling that things will be really really awkward.

It's my friend's party and I don't want her to feel offended if I didn't go, but on the other hand, I have a feeling that if I don't go, I might be doing everyone else a favour! Give me some suggestions guys.

Thankyou!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010):

"I know I should probably have talked to her before I just disappeared on her but it didnt occur to me then. I had a lot going on with other girls at that time"

Oh dear... yes you need to apologise, just take her aside and quietly say you're sorry. The thing is i doubt you would have even given this girl a second thought or considered apologising, if it wasn't for this party.

Next time think about how you treat women because you don't want a reputation as a user.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (18 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntYou should have informed her before you two hooked up that you didn't want a serious relationship.

Explain what you just said to us, to the girl. You can't let her presence at the party keep you from going, she might not even be there. She will probably be upset, but you have to say something to her, at least that way she will know what happened.

Go to the party and have a good time with your friends.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 November 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Go- and when you see that girl, apologize. You don't need to be all dramatic and misty eyed. You can tell her simply what you have told us - Now I realize that maybe I have been selfish and inconsiderate , I did not realize it then. I regret that how I behaved may have hurt you .Sorry.

If you are up to do this, I am pretty sure there will be no hard feelings and no bouts of drama at the party.

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