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Should I give my ex money back for a trip that he won't be taking with my family?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2018) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *FM94 writes:

Hey guys.

Since my last post I've taken your advice and no longer visit my exs social media accounts. I am actually in the process of moving on and have even met someone else :)

I'm just writing because it's coming to the time where I sign the house over to my ex. I've not asked for any money etc however I don't know wHether to give him his £200 back. He was meant to be joining my family and I on a holiday however because I ended the relationship he lost out and my Mum still made him pay the flight money.

I didn't really think it was fair seeing as I ended the relationship so unsure whether to get my Dad to transfer him the money over? Do you think I would be unreasonable if I didn't?

Thanks guys :)

View related questions: money, my ex

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (19 October 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntNope. He is gaining much more than a measly £200 from the property you are signing over to him. He is still easily quids in on the deal, regardless of who ended the relationship.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (18 October 2018):

N91 agony auntI can see your viewpoint, I think it was pretty cheap of your mum to make him pay for the flights still considering it was your decision to break up, I don’t see why your BF should have to lose out financially as well. He didn’t have to pay for those flights but he did anyways so I think if he asks for the money back then you should give it to him, if it comes out of your pocket then so be it, take that up with your mother afterwards.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2018):

You're signing over property to him and asking nothing for it. No, you do not have to payback the money. If he asks for it, then do it. Then cut all ties and never have anything else to do with him.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 October 2018):

Ciar agony auntGive him back his money.

Your mum had no business demanding he pay for a trip he wasn't going to be taking, through no fault of his own. He didn't cancel and, as you say, he didn't break up with you.

That's not to say you didn't have valid reasons to break up with him, just that it was you who ended it ahead of the trip, not him.

If your mum had already put out money on his behalf and couldn't get a refund, then I think it's fair if you pay it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2018):

Yes, your mom sounds very cheap not to return the money. Don't follow her stingy example. It is THE only right thing to do.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (17 October 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntFlights are usually non-refundable. If he asks for it back, I think you should give it to him, even if you can't get a refund. That said, if he doesn't ask, it's pointless to give him money because you're not getting money from the house.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (17 October 2018):

Yes it would be unreasonable for your family to keep the money. He paid it with the expectation that he would be joining his GF and her family on vacation. Your ending the relationship has deprived him of that. Unless you expect him to join you on the trip give him back his money. It’s the only decent thing to do.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 October 2018):

Honeypie agony auntHas he ASKED for the money?

If not, I'd wouldn't pay it back. If he asked for it then yes, IF your parents can get a refund.

Stuff happens.

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