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Should I give him another chance or stay broken up?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years almost a year ago. About 4 months into our relationship he went on holiday with his friends and when he came back he told me he had slept with someone. He was in tears when he told me and begged me to forgive him. It was really painful but I felt so sorry for him so I gave him another chance. He was so wracked with guilt he was worried he might have caught something, even though he said he definetely used protection, so he got checked out- thankfully it came back clear. It was a really difficult time but we managed to get over it.

The next 5 years we really great, we moved in together and talked about getting married and having kids. I still sometimes thought about what he did but i knew he loved me and would never do it again.

Around this time last year my boyfriend's dad was diagnosed with cancer which he was really upset about. A few days later he started to complain about feeling sore downstairs and said he went to get checked out again. Waiting for the results was so horrible because i knew if he had anything i would have it too. He got himself all worked up that they might have missed something the last time and he might have something serious. I did wonder if he cheated again and asked him but he swore that he didn't and I do believe him. The results came back as all clear again but because it was so stressful and because it brought back a lot of painful memories i felt things couldn't get back to normal. I feel it tainted the relationship in my eyes so I broke up with him.

I feel a bit guilty about ending it. I know how devastating it must have been for him. He is such a nice person and he just made one horrible mistake 5 years ago but I don't think either of us can get over it. He was so sorry for what he did and treated me so well over the next five years. I do still love him and know he would never cheat on me again but i still feel so much pain over what happened. i just feel we would always have what happened hanging over us.

Should i give him another chance?

View related questions: broke up, moved in, on holiday

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your replies

I just don't know what to do. Sometimes when i think of him i think about how much i love him and all the good times we shared together but other times i think of him i think about how he cheated on me and put me through all the stress of possibly having an std. The last few weeks of our relationship were so stressful I just don't know if i can get over it.

I always thought I would just meet someone, fall in love and live happily ever after but it just didn't work out like that. I don't know if i should wait for someone else to come along and maybe i'd have that perfect relationship that i always wanted or should i try to fix this broken relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010):

everyone deserves a second chance my love but not alwyas a third..that is something you need to think about.. but also things like this they call a LOVE TEST. Its just a test to see how you cope with something like that.if your strong you will pass it and somehow it will work out for you..if your not im afraid it wont..BE STRONG BABE.PASS THIS TEST AND GET BACK TO YOUR BELOVED.

believe my words hun..

love Katarina x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010):

Yes, but I doubt hed take you back now, it's been a long time.

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A female reader, candus United States +, writes (20 November 2010):

candus agony auntIthink you should go get your man back nobody is perfect havent you made mistakes.They always say once a cheat always a cheat thats not true i dont know why he cheated or what was going on with you two but i think you should give him another chance and another thing he didnt have to tell you he did it thats a real man to come tell you he did it.With that being said you did take him back so u must of thought you could trust him again that man loves you get that thought out of your head you will never forget it but forgive him let it go and move on with yall lives please five years thats a long time to just let it go over one mistake you love him he loves you work it out please keep me posted

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