A
female
age
30-35,
*elly167
writes:Okay, so I've been dating this guy for nearly two years now. Three days after we started dating, he was alone with this girl, and HE SAYS that she kissed him goodbye when she left, not knowing that he was dating me. However, he did not even tell me this. She told me that they had made out, and when I confronted him about it, he denied it. For seven months, he denied it. Finally, I asked him to prove it wasnt true by talking to her, allowing me to read the conversation (it was on msn). So he talked to her, and she confirmed that they never did anythign. THEN he suddenly made up this new email and wuoldnt let me into it. So I managed to hack my way into it (bad, I know). When I got into his email, I discovered tons of emails from her, with him replying. They were talking about how they had faked that msn conversation to trick me, and how he loved her, wanted to cheat on me again, etc etc. I confronted him again, and he broke down crying and begged me to stay with him. I talked to the girl, and she said that all that happened was that she DID kiss him goodbye ... nothing more. So, if it WAS just that, I can get over that. maybe. But, Im more upset about the fact that he lied to me about it for seven months, and I had to find out by going to check his email for him. Also, if it WAS just a kiss as they both described, why would he have hid it for so long?what should I do? How can I forgive him, or should I just leave him? It'd been 6 months since I found out that he cheated.
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female
reader, anna702  +, writes (2 June 2009):
LEAVE HIM. There is no other option. Unless you want to be with a person that will lie and cheat and continue to hurt you forever.
A
female
reader, Kelly167 +, writes (26 July 2008):
Kelly167 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh, by the way everyone, I'm 18, not 16 or 17. I filled the age part in wrong :)
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A
female
reader, bellasmommy +, writes (26 July 2008):
clearly if he made another name and was trying to be secretive, you shouldnt be with him. your young and dont need someone who lies and messes with your brain, heart, and emotions.. if he said he wanted to cheat on you again, he WILL.. eventually.. SO it good to not be with or around him. Guys can be pigs.
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A
female
reader, hasanswers123  +, writes (26 July 2008):
Your either 16 or 17, your still young. There are plenty of guys out there who will treat you really well. You don;t want to be with someone who lies to you no matter what it's about. Don't worry about if they've done anything else, they both sound as bad as each other. He purposely went out of his way to hide something from you and has hurt you in return. Who wants to be with someone who hurts them. It's easy said than done to leave someone but sometimes you have to be strong and know there'll be a better day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): Forgive him. Tell him you hold no grudge and are not angry.
But also tell him you cannot trust him anymore and tell him to go and continue his relationship with this other girl, as that is what he clearly treasured above all else.
This way you do the right thing and kick him out of your life, but do so ina merciful and human way.
Bearing a grudge is not a healthy way of dealing with problems like this and too many people let their anger consume them.
The only true way to happiness is to forgive (and not in a religious way either) those who do wrong. For your own sake, if no one elses.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 ok so the kiss after only 3 days of dating is forgivable. but the lying, tricking, deceiving, humiliating and then going back to her and asking for more? not forgivable. not justifiable. yes you should just leave him. you said yourself you saw the emails to her about tricking you with the MSN talk and telling her he loved her - wat part of that dont you understand? sorry i know that must sound harsh but you need to understand the lengths that this guy went to to hurt and deceive you. i think that you deserve more than this and that you should leave him now. dont let him try to justify wat he did or ask for forgiveness, the cheating is one thing, but wat came after is horrible and no one deserves it. email me if you want hun, by the way im sorry that you had to go through this, i can only imagine how hurt you must feel. xxx
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