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female
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anonymous
writes: When my bf broke up with me he said it had nothing to do with me and that it had all to do with him. He told me that he still cares about me alot but he doesnt love me. He was the one to came to me about saying the "L" word. We dated for 3 months after being friends for 6 years since junior high.I have known him for so long that i have become so involed in his life that i cant see him saying something so meaningful and saying that he didnt mean it. Am i wrong for feeling this way? Cuz everyone tells me to follow my heart and my heart tells me not to give up on him. I dont know what to do. He was my bestfriend and a great lover. We are still friends after the break up but its not the same cuz he is uncomforable around me but he wanted to stay friends for now. He told his roommate that 2 or 3 years down the road try it again but for now he doenst want a relatioship or a gf right nowShould i follow my heart?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): I agree with Lost, do not wait around. Dear, he told his roomate, he does not want a relationship or a gf, right now. Somehow this bit of information has made it's way to you. So what does that information tell you? Let's put aside heartfelt feelings and use our head, here. This is a time for 'seeing the truth of this situation" and dealing with the reality. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you..simple as that. You need to understand that you have no choice but to take what he said..at face value and to stop denying the pain of what his words meant. When you don't listen to what he is really saying this becomes an issue of not respecting him. And that is not what we do to people we care about. My suggestion...get out there and date others. And do not pine away for this fellow. It could very well be a waste of your time. Yes, be friends with him but don't give up other, wonderful opportunities of finding new bf's and sharing your love with someone who appreciates what you have to give. That would be silly. Get out and enjoy life and bring the best of you to each every new relationship. So no, do not follow your heart on this one..use your head and some good, clear, honest rationale. Good luck sweety and stay positive, happy and enjoy your life.
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 I think this is a classic case of taking a friendship to far. I think you two were better off just being friends and he realizes that now. If you want to sit around and wait on him thats fine for you but I wouldn't.
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