A
female
age
41-50,
*S2012
writes:Should I just sign our settlement, or fight him?Ex and I are finalizing our divorce settlement. I was mostly ok with everything, but did think I was getting shaft a little bit.Anyway, the other day I had to go the ER because I was covered in hives head to toe and my heart was racing. I called Ex to please come take our son/keep him overnight/take him to school the next day. He said ok, but then later said he couldn't keep him overnight because he had a meeting at work at 8 am. I told him that he could drop our son off at 630 am, still have time for his meeting and I was on doctors orders to rest and take my meds and call an ambulance if my heart starting racing again. He still refused and then accused me of being ungrateful since he was at least willing to come play with our child for a few hours (in my home-like I want him here?? OR that would be relaxing for me?)Anyway, this is not the first time he has done something like this. I cannot help but feel like being vindictive and fighting him in court for full custody. (Don't get me wrong-I have tried this entire separation to get him to see his son-he barely does) and maybe even get alimony.On the other hand, I just want this to be over. Should I fight him, or just let it go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): First of all, never try to read too much into: there was no meeting today. I am not 'in his favour', but we perceive things a lot differently than they are. Moreover,mostly you may want to go with your intuition rather than drilling down to the facts and details. In all these years you probably know him, so anyways you don't need to check if the meeting really happened or not... Don't waste your energies there... Its important to look at your future; focus on right things and cast-off the trivials... Fighting for alimony should be a rational decision and not based on emotions / vindictiveness.... It is good for the child in long run that he gets more resources / funds particularly from his father. But , again , I repeat ' seek alimony ' in a peaceful way presenting it as a means to support u and your child rather than as a process to hurt your ex. Trust me reducing your anger will help your health too... Its better to mourn your loss (time and emotional investment), and to move on, just like probably he died.... I am from a different country and anyways don't understand the rules so well. But whatever I am saying is from a perspective that should give you more peace and calm. My best wishes for you...
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 August 2013):
 I would file for full custody, but not out of spite. I think in the long run it is easier on the kid(s) if one parent has full "control" - Specially if they do NOT get along. I assume you will ask for CS too, since it doesn't really look like you are going to be "sharing" the responsibility of your child.
As for alimony, I think it depends on many factors. Did YOU have to move out of the family home? Are you working? Were you working though-out the marriage?
I understand you want it over with, don't blame you there - but if you think you will regret not asking for full custody/alimony then don't hurry it. Also, talk to your lawyer.
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A
female
reader, NS2012 +, writes (13 August 2013):
NS2012 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionALSO- I just found out from his boss there was NO meeting today. So he flat out lied about it
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