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Should I feel guilty because I sit at a community table talking politics and local government with these old men?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have never done anything in all of my years of marriage that is unfaithful I've never even thought of it to be honest I've always loved my husband even though he has been mentally and emotionally abusive to me for the entire marriage. In our home town there is a local coffee shop and I go in every morning to get coffee there is a community table in there where everyone kind of sits around now mind you I tell my husband about all the people I talk to in there and about the conversations that's had so I'm not trying to hide anything from him.

I'm in my late 30's and the average age of the men who are in there are 50's, 60's and 70's and their are usually the girl who runs the shops mother in there and two other lady's who come in for coffee the other morning he comes walking in with this well I've finally caught you attitude and I walk out with him and he made a few snide remarks and then left I told him fine I won't go in anymore so three days later

I run straight in get my coffee then leave the next day I don't go in at all and I go in today only to tell the girl working in there bye because I found out yesterday they were closing the shop and my husband drives by and sees my car there and calls me and goes off on me about how I'm two faced and just like my cheating father and how from now on he's gonna talk to whoever he wants to and that I had been jealous over him for years which is not true I have been jealous over an ex of his that he spent alot of time texting about two years ago but he tried to hide it from me and I feel he has a weakness for her, but I've never done anything like that to make him suspect me

So... should I feel guilty because I sit at a community table talking politics and local govt. with these old men? Did I do something wrong?

View related questions: emotionally abusive, jealous, text

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 March 2011):

person12345 agony auntNo you didn't do anything wrong. Your husband is being insane and controlling. What could he possibly be thinking? Last I checked talking to people and drinking coffee was still considered OK. I agree with Dirtball, you shouldn't have to tolerate this sort of insanity. If he does this often, or even just multiple times, you should leave.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (30 March 2011):

dirtball agony auntYou did nothing wrong, and your husband is a controlling jerk. I don't know why you put up with it. You shouldn't have to tolerate that sort of behavior.

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