A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This is kind of a long story...I've had this weird on-again, off-again thing with this guy for two years. I wouldn't call him a friend; just a bed buddy. We'd meet up once or twice every month or two just to hook up and then we wouldn't talk until we wanted to see each other again. Anyway, earlier this year I admitted to myself that I have feelings for him. Over the summer, I told him I cared about him, and I think he knows how deep my feelings go.In August, I found out he was trying to hook up with my roommate's friend and a girl that went to my high school. (We're from a small town.) I knew he slept around, I just never knew the extent of it. I got insanely jealous. I saw his brother at the bar (I'd never met him before) and as a way to get back at him, I slept with his brother.I'm 99% sure he knows about it because I had a picture of the brother on my story one night with a flirty quip, and I'm sure he saw it.I feel terrible about it. Everytime I think of the brother, I feel nothing but remorse.My bed buddy went a month without talking to me. It hurt, and I was worried that we were over. A month ago, he messaged me again, and it's almost like we're back in our little routine. It's like nothing happened.My biggest question is this: should I try talking to him about it, or let it go? Should I let HIM go? Based on things he's said and done, I feel that there could be a future between us. I'm afraid to lose him, but I'm even more afraid to hurt him.I talked to my best friend about this, and she thinks there's nothing to worry about since I'm not dating either of them.I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do. I really, really care about him. I know he's done some pretty bad things, but I don't care. I've done not-so-great things, too. Do I just need to let him go and move on, or fight for this?
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female
reader, wishfulsoul  +, writes (28 January 2018):
Friends with benefit scenarios, I think the majority of cases someone always ends up getting hurt, someone always ends up having more feelings than the other.
I think you shouldn't do this to yourself, realistically this will not end well, have some self respect.
I think if you truly care for this guy, you should lay your cards on the table with him, tell him straight how you feel, if he doesn't feel the same way, you have your answer, you then should just cut ties with him, you can't be friends with someone you see as more than friends, well at least not until you have got over them.
Its an awful feeling to love and care for someone who doesn't feel the same. It will be tough to live your life without them, but tougher to carry on this way and eventually watch them get into a relationship and not give a damn about your feelings, don't be falsely led into thinking they will change their mind and love you because your just wasting your time, you deserve to be treated with respect find someone who can give you this
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (3 January 2018):
 Talk to him about what exactly?
I really don't think he cares even if he does know, all he wants from you is no strings attached sex and you're giving it to him so why would he kick up a fuss?
You're really barking up the wrong tree here, this guy doesn't want you for any other reason than a place to put his dick. Are you truly satisfied with that? You don't think you're worth more? You've told him how you feel and you still only get those booty calls. But why would he stop? You give it up for nothing.
This situation has absolutely no future whatsoever and the longer you keep meeting him the worse you're going to make this for yourself when things actually do end. Get some self respect, grow a backbone and break things off.
Do you really think someone who's happy not to talk to you for a month or two has deep feelings for you? You've wasted 2 years of your life, don't waste anymore of it on someone who couldn't give a fuck about you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2018):
 You could never have a future with him now I mean how could you when you have had sex with this brother? That is crossing a huge line. Either way he just seems to look at you as a sex object so the best thing for you to do is stop contacting him, because all you are doing is delaying the chance off meeting someone who might actually care about you and want a relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2017): It doesn't matter how much you like the guy now. You stepped over the line and there's no going back. Ever.
End it and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 December 2017):
 There is no future here.
I know that is not what you want to hear, but let's take a peek at reality.
It's been 2 years but hasn't progressed past f-buddies. You told him how you felt and he went off to sleep with other women. You decided that the BEST way to get back at him was to sleep with his brother. You don't communicate much outside of setting up f-dates. He can gladly go a month or two without much contact...
All of this tells me, YOU are BOTH wasting your time. You more than him as you have caught feelings for him but he is fine with just screwing around on occasion.
Let him go.
Find yourself a SINGLE guy who WANTS a relationship. This guy doesn't. Or at least not with you.
You can, of course, keep wasting your time with this guy but I'm telling you, it IS a waste of time and you might be missing out on a LOT of men who ARE worth your time and who WANTS to be with you, not just screw you when horny.
You can't fight for something that isn't there. Having sex once or twice a month with someone is NOT a relationship.
Next time hold off on the sex until you are sure you can see yourself with this person. Make the sex PART of a relationship but not the main event.
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