A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Birthday is coming up soon. I've been with my g/f since the start of the year, and we dated a bit end of last year.I haven't hinted at the timing of my birthday, nor has she asked when it is. I don't think any mutual friends know for sure when my b.day is either so not sure she can find out any other way.Should I drop a hint that its coming up soon? I'm not one to make a huge fuss. As an event my b-day isn't really special to me. If she doesn't know and the date passes I'm honestly fine with that.But I'm more worried we'll get to the end of the year and when we've been together a year she'll obviously realise we haven't done something for my b.day - and I'm worried she'll then feel left out, worried I don't like her enough to tell her etc.Is that a real concern that others here would have? If so I guess I ought to start dropping the odd hint... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 May 2015):
 I think just telling her the date and suggest you two go to dinner would be a NICE way to GIVE her the chance to pamper you a little, and MAKE her feel INCLUDED in your life.
Some people don't DO birthdays (my husband) but I don't GIVE a fly's fart, he still gets flowers, special dinner, a cake and a present. Now I DON'T go around and invite a ton of people over (because he wouldn't want that) but I won't "ignore" his birthday either. (and honestly, he gets excited each year to see what we come up with).
I have to agree that it IS odd for a couple who have been dating a while to NOT know each others birth dates. Seems a bit.. impersonal.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 May 2015):
 You over think this. Just tell her: btw, my birthday is next week. Im not planning to do anything special, but maybe you and I could have dinner together?
If you just "drop a hint" she'll take it as you wanting a gift, and that doesn't look good. So even if you don't celebrate it, maybe do something nice with her.
It is odd though that she hasn't asked when your birthday is. My guess is she doesn't really know you well enough (how serious are you even?), or she's just not that interested in birthdays.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2015):
 Easy. You tell her : " My birthday is coming up on May ...th, shall we go for drinks or pizza or something ? Mind you, I never make a big fuss over my birthday ( so she also knows she is not to expect a fancy outing nor to splurge on an expensive gift ) - but, a celebration drink can't hurt ".
So, in a few months of dating already, .. the subject of your birthdays never came up ? How curios , generally this is one of the first things that people asks / share about themselves. Just saying. Not that you HAVE to mention birthdates, or that's wrong not mentioning- just that it is very usual. Maybe you were too busy whispering love words to each other's ears ! :)
...............................
A
female
reader, hoehum  +, writes (11 May 2015):
You don't seem to have any reasons for not wanting to tell her, except that you don't like a fuss. Just tell her that :). That it's your birthday but you don't usually make a big deal of it. Maybe you could do something nice with her? Go for dinner or watch a movie?
...............................
A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (10 May 2015):
Sorry hit enter too soon! That should have said:
Simply mention it in passing and I'm sure she'll pick up on it right away.
...............................
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (10 May 2015):
Yeah I'd feel awful if I missed my boyfriend's birthday so I think you should tell her in advance. Do you know when hers is? If not there's a great way to open the conversation. Otherwise, simply mention it in
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): So you two never asked about each other birthday? Do you know when her birthday is?
Here are few things you could do. You can either invite some friends and your girlfriend to your place for a small celebration, each one can bring some drinks and some snacks or if you want to spend the day with her alone, you can tell her that your birthday is coming up soon and you would like it very much if you two could spend the day together. Maybe go to the movies, a concert,or go for a drink in your favourite bar or even to the beach. You sound like a nice guy, I'm sure things will work out well. Good luck
...............................
|
