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Should I continue to see my girlfriend who's bi polar? We get on great but there's problems too.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Faded love, Friends, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2007)
A male United States age 26-29, *ilperuvianboy writes:

im 15 years old and going out with a bipolar girlfriend.I used to go out with another girl and she left me and went out with my bestfriend which i was devastated over and kinda got depressed over and my current girlfriend was with me all the way. Now once she was acting so differently with me she was all depressed and it was all with me she got mad at me and didnt want to do anything with me and just kinda blew me off everytime i saw her and i thought she wanted to break up with me so i did.

She even got to the point of saying "i dont want you to kiss me, to hug me, to touch me, to talk to me sweet, and dont try to cheer me up" that really made me upset. I regret that i broke up with her, were still best friends like always we looked more like a couple now then we did before because she always used to leave me behind and go infront with her girls and stuff im a very sensative guy and get upset over silly things. She always used to make me sad cuz she said stupid things that common people would not say to their bf's or gf's about her ex's and stuff and it just got me mad and when she started ignoring me and getting moody at me it was the last straw i broke up with her.Since we were still best friends i was hugging her once playfully and i told her to go see the psychologist because she even told me she did because she needed to talk to someone until i convinced her to go to the psychologist and the psychologist told her to come back and stuff and it turns out my girlfriend is bipolar.

He said she might need to take medecine if she wanted to control it more but she wont and he made her call her parents and stuff and she got all sad and happy again.Now i told her she was too sensative too becouse she used to get sad and stuff so after a while i wanted to get back with her since it wasnt her fault she was being mean to me since she couldnt really control it. We agreeded and went back together after countless love notes and teddy bears and even a book full of feelings we went out again but she wont treat me the same she wont kiss me in the lips or hug me like she used to and i kinda understood since i broke up with her really hurt her and i told her not to be so sensative and to try to cheer herself up if she wanted our relatinship to work.

Now she's... really cold with me like she doesnt care about me like she used to i dont know if its the she wont even put that were going out in her myspace and she wont tell people were going out.Im not sure if its that she's bipolar or she's doing this completly on purpuse but she's pushing me away from her life then she says she thinks im just using her and stuff that i just want her for her looks which is bull since if i did i would have broken up with her already from all the sadness she's causing me plus she helped me a lot when i was feeling down and i love her to death for that.

Now like 2 days ago she's been acting weird since we went back to school yesterday she didnt go online or call me on the phone and i thought she was in trouble with her parents then i call her and she's fine she just wont go online.Then i tell her why she didnt even bother communicating with me and she said it was private and i didnt need to know when i really do want to know since its taking away the time that i talk to her becouse talking to her is all i do since i dont even see her alone anymore.What really upset's me is that yesterday when i called she didnt even wanna tell me and it made me feel like she didnt care about me im not sure what she's doing (she's 15 too) she wont tell me anything anymore she's a very different person now she's more cold when i try to talk to her seriously she starts to laugh and make fun of it when its something thats really serious and that always gets to me.I dont know what to do but breaking up with her just isnt an option since i dont want to do that becouse i really like her and it might break her heart.

Also she has had this guy in the dominican republic (yeah she's spanish) that broke her heart when she came here becouse he went out with another girl then when she came back he went back with her and when she left he went with that other girl again. Then this guy here in the USA did almost the same thing to her and it made her real depressed and i think it was the reason she's bipolar.Now she's so COLD i just dont know her anymore. I knew it was gonna be hard being with a bipolar girl and im willing to be with her for a long time but this thing about not teling me what she's doing and telling me not to call her and that she's not gonna be online is something different.

Yesterday she gave me an excuse that she was cleaning her room.... for 5 straight hours she didnt have the sense of calling me or at least telling me she was still alive. I dont know what to think anymore. Please give me some advice i know i have to be patient but i just dont know anymore.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, depressed, her ex, myspace

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A male reader, lilperuvianboy United States +, writes (1 March 2007):

lilperuvianboy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well i damn myself for wat happended but today... my patience completly left me.. i screamed at her.Today in school we were talking about the dance until she told me "you know who im gonna take to the dance", i got so happy for a minute i couldnt stop smiling in my head.Then im like who? "noone" my happy feelings just went from high up to the lowest it could go and before i started to cry i just turned around and left her walking to her class didnt even turn back.In my class i felt so horrible like a deep hole in my chest everytime i could breathe.So i pushed myself into putting on a smile when i saw her and hugged her and took her to her locker and got my jacket becouse i was gonna go home.We got into an argument and she's so... dumb she doesnt even know why i left her there she couldnt figure it out and we keepded arguing about everything until before i exploded on her i just left again without turning back.Then at my house i felt horrible to the point of crying and i get a call and it was her on her friends phone, and she called me while i was feelings down disregarding my feelings and how bad i was. I was happy that she called but when she did she just called me to ask me some stupid question when i was really really sad and that really made me angry and the question was about like a year ago this guy told me she liked him and she wanted to tell me that it wasnt true or something becouse the guy was there and i didnt even let her finish becouse she was just laughing and ignoring my feelings like if everything was fine between us while it really wasnt then i said "you know what actually i dont want to talk to you" and she laughed at something her friend did and said ok and hung up.Then i called her again at her friends cell becouse i wanted to apologize but i could hear her ignoring me and not taking what i said seriously like i was just something she didnt care about and i got this sudden anger on me and i said "you know what forget you" and "forget everyone i ran outa patience for you" and she started screaming back and i hung up on her.Not even 5 seconds later i started crying in my bed then i summoined the courage to go online and i was so angry that i wrote a messege to her in myspace that really got her mad but it shouldnt have it was more of me saying the truth it was basicly all i put in this topic.she just took it in a real wrong way now she wont even talk to me or pick up the phone.I feel horrible right now and wishing i could go back and punch myself to stop myself from screaming at her i should have remenbered her condition.We talked online for a bit and she was really sad and mad then she went to sleep i think and got online and just ignored me.When she finaly started talking she said she was sorry she hurt me and that my words ment that we broke up and that she cant be with someone that they hurt this bad right now i feel really bad i want her back i want things to be like when we first started going out i want us to be happy this moement i have this thing in my chest that hurts me everytime i breathe.

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A female reader, mum2be United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2007):

Oh my god honey! I can understand how difficult this must be for you at the moment. You are right... your girlfriend is not being very fair to you. But, you are also right in saying that she can't help it. Since you seem to possibly be the nicest 15 year old guy in the world, i suggest that you go on the internet and look up a bit about the disorder. MAybe the more you learn, the more you'll be able to talk to your girlfriend. Talk to her about the optiion of taking medication, and ask her to do it just for a trial. I know that being unhappy and depressed is really hard, and to get the motivation to actually go out, get help and accept it is difficult.

It seems to me that your girlfriend may be in denial about her situation. How many people know? Do her friends know? If not, she could be spending time talking to those that don't know so that she does not have to accept it herself.

Carry on doing what you are...

talking to her, supporting her and hopefully she will start to improve.

If she thinks you are just using her, then possibly the best thing to do is show her that you are not.

You are young to be coping with all of this, so if you get on with your parents, try talking to them about it... just so that you are not dealing with this all on your own, which could lead to you having problems.

All the best, honey


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