A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi cupid,I am in a sort of a dilemma here. Well, there is a lass that I know around my campus for over two years and about two months ago, we started talking more over social media (whatsapp,facebook etc). I always felt that she really liked me for the last two years. I was always friendly and kind to her but never flirted or teased her - just plain formal. Recently about two months ago, we started flirting a little . I bantered as well and I didnot mind as I thought it was fun. So for some time we started bantering a bit. Lately, she is being too graphic and trying to hook up with me and seduce me over social media but she seems a bit shy in person but given the time, I feel that she would start talking and flirting all that sort of things in person too. I do not mind bantering and having a cheerful conversation which I actually enjoy but I do not wish to sleep with her. However, she is thinking more than flirting and giving me hints to take her on a date and maybe we can book a hotel afterwards or I can take her some place alone and she would show me the magic of which she is capable of.Now my problem is that I do not wish to sleep with her, especially when I think it seems just a FWB situation or maybe there is some attraction I feel for her due to flirting but i think it is not enough from my side. I do not like sleeping around so that is off the books. Now, I am ignoring her to avoid conversations online or in person as I think it might end up sleeping with her but at the same time, at times i think about her and what she had graphically said to me in few of our conversations and messagesI want to get rid of thinking about her and I think i had been strong enough to avoid any physical contact but I won't deny that my mind at times wander a bit about making out with her especially before going to bed. So what is the best thing I can do ?Should I continue ignoring her or should I explain her that I'm not in for it (but then she'd say she's been joking and later start it again like last time) So what should be my approach ?
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female
reader, Lowipop  +, writes (13 August 2015):
lol all good advise, but for some reason, i think your eventually going to have to resort to ignoring her again, wether now, or much, much later....like after you've slept with her and actually ask the girl out that you REALLY wanted to go out with, except now you have a stalker on your hands. Just sayin
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 August 2015):
 Hinting is not going to work, ignoring her is not going to work.
Being a honest person will. Just tell her, I'm not looking to have a FWB with you, or casual sex it's just not for me.
She will then either back off or revert to talking as friends.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Good rule of thumb.
And good for you to know your own limitations, values and morals. Stick to them.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (12 August 2015):
 It is always better to say it. People can't imagine your thoughts. They might have a guess, but that's all it will be. No matter how hard, everyone will always thank you for being straightforward.
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