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Should I confront my boyfriend about what he did to me while I was drunk?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 September 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Last weekend I got drunk on my boyfriend's farm. I remember very little execpt for the part where I think he raped me. I remember being in the bathroom and him coming in behind me and making me lay on the floor. I told him I wanted to go back outside, but he wouldn't let me go. I told him to stop it and quit, but he wouldn't. I even started crying but he kept going. I remember it hurting a lot because he seemed to be in a hurry (probably because there were others there too)and the fact that I thought we both made the decision to wait until I was of legal age(because he's 25 and I'm 17). I'm pretty sure I'm not a virgin anymore. Should I confront him about it? Was it rape, or did I ask for it by getting drunk?

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A female reader, Seeker United States +, writes (9 September 2008):

Whether you were drunk or not, whether you were in a relationship with him or not, if you told him no and he forced sex on you anyway then you were raped. You need to go to your doctor or OB-GYN, and you need to go to the police. Do not feel like this is your fault, or that you asked for it. Be strong and report this man so that he can't take advantage of others in the future.

Good luck

x

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A female reader, gr United States +, writes (9 September 2008):

this may sound stupid, but since you were drunk and it was a party, are you sure it was him? if that answer is yes,

then..the only reason to confront him is if you are trying to get him to understand what he done was wrong. He doesn't deserve a confrontation. he deserves someone kicking his a** and you turning your back on him. there is nowhere to go with this one unless you want to go back to square one and him head north and you south..leave him now and save possibly many years of sorrow. Now, if you cannot say 4 sure it was him. It may not have been, since he was in such a hurry. I would be considered old to you, but I have to say some things don't change much. someone tried to rape me at a party where my boyfriend was, because he thought I was more drunk than I was. and it was quite a challenge to throw him off me, as I had already been laying in bed with my boyfriend..oh, and my boyfriend didn't care. as a matter of fact, it was a joking matter to all the party attendees.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008):

that is rape. report him. he is old enough to know better.

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