A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:a guy i really like is kind of a player and dated my now best friend and they were each others 1st time for sex. well she says she would be mad at me if i dated him but she doesn't know if she would be mad at me if i just fooled around with him. idk what to do i rly like him but im not sure i wnt to lose my only girl best friend for him but i also think she should be more understanding that i really like him and he could make me very happy. what do you think i should do go out with him and lose my best friend or don't go out with him and just fool around or just stay away from him as hard as it will be.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): You can't decide to date a player but not get played. He will play you just like the rest of them. It has nothing to do with how much or little he might like you.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 July 2010):
 There's a saying among guys; "Bro's before ho's." I'm not feeling creative enough at the moment to flip that for women, but it should work the same way. Friendships typically last much longer than romantic relationships, especially at your age. If your friend isn't comfortable with you dating her ex, as a good friend, you should drop it.
Besides, you said he's a player. Players are bad news anyway. She's doing you a favor by telling you to stay clear of him.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 July 2010):
 How is it okay to fool around with someone's (ex?)-boyfriend, as long as you don't date him?
The attitude both of you have towards dating is worrying, and idiotic to be completely honest. I don't care who this guy is, you shouldn't be taking turns with him. Is he really worth this much trouble? I doubt it. There are plenty of other boys out there, forget about this one.
Rather than settling for just fooling around, you need to step back and realize your own self-worth. You'll only mean one thing to guys like him, which is sex. Nothing else. You have more to offer than that, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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