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Should I choose a University in London to give our relationship a chance?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 May 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I really love this guy, we haven't gotten into a serious long term relationship yet but he continues to tell me he loves me and wants me in his life for a very long time however we have never directly talked about marriage as it is too soon and i feel we are both too young.

He wants to study in central London and is very intelligent however i don't feel I'm on that intellectual level as he is.

My issue is that should I choose a uni in London so that our relationship could flourish because I'm scared if we are too far away it wouldn't work or should i just go to the best uni for me which may not be in London?

Please help me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2016):

My daughter goes to Uni in London and her boyfriend is studying in Scotland. Their relationship is still flourishing 2.5 years on.

I agree you must do what's best for you and bare in mind finances as studying in London is much more expensive than other parts of the UK.

Having gone through the Uni admissions process with my daughter. It's not a given that you can get into your first choice anyway.

If you follow your boyfriend who knows what might happen 1 or 2 years on as you both have much growing up to do and you could end up regretting it in the long run.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 May 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Be smart and put yourself at the center of your life, not a ( for now ) casual relationship.

Just go to the best uni for you, wherever it may happen to be (... and maybe it will be in central London,who knows. What is it , central London is Geniusland ? Do they have such a hugely different admission standard from the rest of the country ? )

Anyway : do what's best for you, studywise, as if you were totally single. You are building up your future here, it's a serious matter. You should not make it depend from a guy who, statistically speaking, in all probability won't even be part of said future.

He always says he loves you ? Great. Then if he loves you, he can handle long distance. If you relationship should fizzle because of the distance.... it won't be because of the distance in itself , but because you two did not really loved each other enough to make this relationship

" flourish " unless in the easiest, most convenient , most unchallenged conditions.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI say you choose a Uni that works for what YOU want to do in life, career wise.

While you might have a lot of options in London, it might also be a lot more costly. (since you will have to pay for room and board as well as books and other expenses) compared to one closer to home.

TALK to your mom and dad. Talk to your career counselor. See which schools would be the BEST option for you.

Maybe if there is a strong bond between you two, you can try a LDR with a lot of visiting. It might work, it might not.

I wouldn't enroll in a Uni that you aren't REALLY wanting to go to, and not for a guy.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 May 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntGo to the BEST Uni for YOU. do not make your choices based on a relationship. Not even if it's the BEST relationship ever (unless you are already married)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2016):

At your age and at this level of commitment to this guy it's too early to start making major life decisions based on a "what if" boyfriend. Choose the best university for yourself, choose the best things for your long-term future. If he happens to fit into it great, but if it turns out he doesn't, you're not stuck living out the life that you didn't intend because you made decisions based on a "what if" boyfriend.

Be smart. And good luck at University!

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