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Should I cheat or not? I'm in a long distance relationship of 5 months and won't see her for 6 more!

Tagged as: Cheating, Long distance, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2011)
A male South Africa age 30-35, *he pacifier writes:

Hi I'm a student and I'm in a long distance relationship but its only been 5 months do, bad thing is that I wont be seeing her for the next 6 months,do you think I should cheat whilest I personally don't want to cheat coz I really love this girl but I just feel little insecure and don't think I can wait for 6 months not tyo have sex and she knows that I enjoy having sex,So what should I do coz I can be comitted and faithful to her but what if she hurts me please give some advice

View related questions: insecure, long distance

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011):

Hi, i know exactly what you are going through. you are in need of sexual needs, intimancy and you miss that. here is what you need to do.

1.concentrate on your life. use this opportunity when ur girl is away to build your life.

2.make yourself busy.

3.find time to call your girl.

4.Thoughts!! please watch what you think about.

5.avoid having female friends around ur home.

6. Lastly, trust her. remember you LOVE her. this is the Gift God has given you.

7. lastly now, when u feel like crying...cry. its no harm. she will be back.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

It's never a good thing to hurt someone else. I had a friend who had a long distane relationship the same as yours. I will give you the same advice i gave her. Nothing do nothing that you will regret in the future. Trust me Im a good gurl that has done bad things and i didn't care to the table turn on me. Best of luck with your decision.

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A female reader, Miss sunshine France +, writes (21 May 2008):

Miss sunshine agony auntlong distance relationships are really tricky! i ended up breaking up with a guy because of a long distance relationship. what you should do is really think if you have a future with this girl. cause i can garantee you, once you do something with someone else it never is the same!! i am telling you if you do something with someone else you'll get exited for that "new thing" you will want more and you will stop being interested at your girlfriend.(been through, done that) if you think that you don't have any future with her at least be honest. break up with her and then go and do whatever you want. but if you really really love her and want to go on your life with her just calm down and don't do anything. if she loves you too she won't do anything either.i think its a pity to destroy something beautiful you have just fro sex. i know sex is good but having someone is beter!

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A female reader, MissWendlemoot Australia +, writes (20 May 2008):

MissWendlemoot agony auntAsk yourself are you a stand up man with character, integrity, and true to his word?

These days it is so easy to do the wrong thing but a real man does the right thing even if it is difficult.

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A male reader, Replacement Canada +, writes (20 May 2008):

Replacement agony auntAre you afraid that she might be cheating on you, so you want to "cheat back"? Is that what you mean by "what if she hurts me"? Like LJ001 said, all you can do is trust that she will be faithful. There's nothing she can say to prove that she will be faithful, so you have to trust her. If she does eventually hurt you, then at least you can say you tried and that you didn't do anything to hurt her. You can have a clear conscience.

The mature thing to do is to be faithful. Of course... when I was your age, I had a hard time staying faithful, I was a bit of a wild child. It really really hurt my girlfriends, I have since grown out of my need to cheat. Sex with a stranger is never as good as sex with a significant other anyway, so the trade off isn't worth it. This is a good opportunity for you to grow up, mature, and learn some valuable life lessons. Self-control and respect for a partner are very important things to know. If you can pass this six month trial, you will come out of it a better man. If you fall into temptation, you just missed out on a potentially great relationship with your girlfriend as well as the learning experience it could have been.

In the meantime, masturbation is your friend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

You don't want to cheat on her. You even say this. You also say you have the ability to commit and be faithful! This is great! Now stick to it honey, please, or you risk losing this girl forever. Trust that she will keep faithful to you, as that is all you can do. But please, don't go doing anything stupid. If you love her, wait for her. It will seem all the more amazing when she returns to your arms.

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A female reader, Confused4 United States +, writes (20 May 2008):

It is hard to say to be honest i have been in a relationship for 12 years and never cheated ,however, we are actively talking about open marriage. I just want to say that you are young and if you have these thoughts now you will have them in a year, many years and forever. Just relize they are normal and if you can't wait you really don't love her. Just don't waste your time with someone to someday relize hmmmm this is why people wait to get married or date 1 person Have fun.

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