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Should I call my ex to come hang out for the Holidays?

Tagged as: Crushes, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Should I call my ex to come hang out for the Holidays?

My ex and I broke up two years ago at the end of Christmas. Each year when the Holidays come around, I find myself thinking of him and missing him. We've never seen each other after our breakup aside from one time during my birthday when he took me for a meal. We've kept in contact and he would always answer my calls up until about a half a year ago, he just stopped.

I have a feeling he blocked me because every time I call it would go directly to voicemail and he never replies to my texts. I think his new girlfriend made him block me. They dated shortly after him and I broke up but they are long distance. They only see each other every couple of months.

We have mutual friends on Facebook and I see her posts of them two. They do a lot of virtual date nights like watch movies and eat together and she posts a lot when they are visiting each other. Makes me want to puke at all their lovey dovey things but I know things posted on Facebook is only one sided. I know he is lonely when she's not there.

I know he goes to eat and goes to the gym and most of the time is by himself. All of his friends are married with new born babies. I know he wants some company and I am always alone by myself too. We used to be a couple and did every thing together. He shouldn't be alone for the Holidays and I shouldn't be alone either.

I want to call him, I can hide my number and the call will go through. I think him and I should spend this Holiday together to keep each other company, what do you think? He should also dump his current girlfriend and be with someone local.

View related questions: broke up, christmas, facebook, long distance, my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2015):

You actually don't know if he's "lonely" or whatnot. Fact of the matter is if he wanted you he would reach out to you.

From my experience, men often kick themselves in the nuts over the girls who move on after a break up, make a clean break and don't dwell on their past lovers. That's a woman who respects herself.

My ex broke up with me two and a half years ago. I was heartbroken, thought about him all the time. But he wanted nothing to do with me, so I moved on, never spoke again..then about a year later he started calling me all the time, begging my forgiveness, sending me gifts in the mail. I ignored him and told him I was over it and to move on. He would continue to contact me more sporadically, always saying he missed me and whatnot. I ignored him for another whole year. Then this past summer we randomly ran into each other. He was thrilled as he finally had the opportunity to talk to me face to face and offer me an apology and ask for my forgiveness. He admitted he took me for granted and felt very badly.

When he told me how much he'd suffered during those two years, I was shocked. I pictured another scenario in my head. But when I thought about how persistently he chased me for almost two years, I realized he probably was missing me a lot. We are friends now, I forgave him and sort of dating again, at my pace and my leisure.

If I had not been strong and had not moved on he probably would've never regretted leaving me. He would've continued to take me for granted cause he'd assume I'd always be available.

Regardless of the outcome, you should move on and be strong.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think you should leave him be. You MAY think the GF "made" him block/ignore you, but it can be HE did it all on his own. Because? He has moved on.

As for the whole "He should also dump his current girlfriend and be with someone local." How is that for you to say what he should do with his life? You are no longer part of his life and it's none of your business what he does.

Maybe you should consider moving on yourself and find someone else to entertain you, not expect and ex to do so because it's the holiday season and you are lonely and or bored.

Not all LDRs work, that is for sure. But I think he will find that out on his own if it doesn't. And who knows maybe they are the exception to the rule and they will make it work. Again... none of your business.

You are in your 30's, time to ACT like a grown up. Go find YOUR happiness and don't CRAP on his.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2015):

Hi, am sorry to hear what you are going through, its been two years, I do know the feeling, its been over three for me, the bad thing about it, is, how you still feel, sorry to say this , but he doesn't think about you,please don't contact him, one day you will fine love again, an then you will forget about him, but I do know how the physical pain in your heart feels.try to smile

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2015):

Why are YOU deciding what's best for HIM? You don't know what his LDR is like? He could have an amazing connection with this girl! He blocked you for a reason. Respect that... you don't know for sure that his new girlfriend made him do that! Even if she did make him do it, he still did it because he loves her. Quit facebook stalking and hide them from your newsfeed. You seem way too interested in what their relationship is like. Find someone else who's into you and stop trying to wreck his relationship, because you're lonely.

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