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Should I call it a day? I forgave him the affair but now he seems to be hiding things!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

I've asked for advice on numerous occasions regarding my partner, now of 10 years and a lot of you told me then to get rid of him as long ago as 5 years but Ihave always thought things would change. However, I then found that he has cheated on me last year and had a very sordid affair which I also forgave him for. However since then, our sex life has been

almost non existent and when I say that I forgave him

so we could try to make things work he says he feels guilty but I am now thinking that I am the fool and should have dumped him a long time ago. We went out for a pub meal last night and for some reason I asked him could I have his phone to look at, something I have never done before but I was just messing about and wanted to see his reaction. Well, he gave me his password which wouldn't open it up and then he came round the table very agitated and was trying to grab the phone off me in front of everyone in the pub getting very stressed. I asked him to explain why he was over reacting to this and he said it is his phone and his personal business. Now I have got quite depressed as he obviously has stuff on it that he doesn't want me to see. Please tell me if I am over reacting or is it time to call it a day. Thanks for your advice

View related questions: affair, cheated on me, depressed, sex life

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all your answers. He has actually lived in my house for 5 years and I am going to take the bull by the horns as they say and evict him this weekend. I need to respect myself as he certainly doesn't. Will report back.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (6 August 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou write: "... but I have always thought things would change.".... and NOW you know that they won't.... SO, pack up, get away from this character and get on with you life....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (6 August 2015):

Honeygirl agony auntHon, this man has shown you who he really is, a liar and a cheat.

I strongly suggest that you get your ducks in a row and leave him

You need to have a full panel of STI checks done as well as HIV as he is putting your health at risk.

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (6 August 2015):

Ive been in the same situation before regarding the phone and him getting agitated and going literally crazy. I dont know what age group you are, but my advice is the same regardless. Get out of there now, you will never regret leaving a dysfunctional relationship once you have given yourself a couple of months to get over it. But you will always regret dragging it out and wasting your time on a person who doesnt deserve you, believe me on that.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (6 August 2015):

Ciar agony auntPeople here told you it was time to call it a day 5 years ago.

Nothing has changed. What are you waiting for?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Tisha.

Life is too short to waste it on a person who DOESN'T really want to be with you and who doesn't want to be faithful, honest and open.

He "gave" you the PW (but not the correct one) because he DIDN'T want you see what he keeps on the phone.

Want more for yourself.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 August 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntHe's been a problem for at least 5 years?

Woman, life is short. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what he's up to? Sticking around for more sordid? No?

So bid him adieu and get on with having fun and meeting new people!

Good luck!

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