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Should I borrow money from my boyfriend?

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Question - (28 August 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Does anyone have an opinion about whether one should ever ask to borrow money from your bf, especially if it's a sensitive point?

I am nearly broke and don't know if I can last till next paycheck.

I can't ask family at this point, and have already borrowed from my friends, and don't want to alienate them.

I have had a very good summer in terms of personal relationships,

but underneath the surface have been steadily going broke. I feel like am in purgatory.

My usual summer job went belly up!!


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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

It depends on level of closenes that you guys have. But judging by the fact that you are asking, you are not that close to him.

That's a good idea to budget, doesn't matter how much money you have. It takes creativity, especially if you dealing w/very liitle amount.

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A female reader, busy04 United States +, writes (28 August 2009):

busy04 agony auntIf you have that kind of relationship with him, then sure,go for it. Explain to him what's going on in your life at this point, so he'll know how to help you.

My only thing is don't begin to use him as a crutch & don't let money be a constant factor for you. I'm only saying this because my boyfriend (ex-bf now) asked me for money once & then it continued so much (for the next 3 1/2 years) to the point where I was the one pinching pennies and struggling to make it, and when I finally started to say no to him, he got very upset and money put a huge strain on the good relationship we had, and needless to say:we split up because of it. He began to depend on me far too much and got comfortable with the idea my "help" toward him. I'm not saying that you are like him, I'm just saying to be careful with. You may be a very independent woman (deuces to you if you are:), I'm just saying be mindful of your boyfriend's finances, cause I'm sure he has things to take care of also.

I said that to say, ask your boyfriend: I mean who else is better to ask than the person you committed yourself to. But do all you can to get yourself back into a position of financial independence, I know that's easier said than done, but you don't want the "borrowing" thing to become a bigger point for your relationship.

Good luck & I hope that everything gets better for you soon!

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A female reader, linz09 United Kingdom +, writes (28 August 2009):

linz09 agony auntWell as a rule of thumb I think your best option is to stop borrowing money ..full stop! you will have to sit down and make a list of your incoming's and outgoing's and be quite brutal only buy what you can afford and look for another job as soon as you can.

How would you feel if your friends or bf kept asking to borrow money off you?

Its all about budgeting and if your planning nights out etc think of ways to have fun at home, like cooking a meal for these generous friends and possibly start putting some things you dont use or wear on ebay.

When you start looking where you can make cut backs it can be quite fun.

Hope this helps.


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