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Should I be worried about his change in behavior?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2015)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of two years has been somewhat distant on and off for the last month, but for the most part things have been okay. We are somewhat long distance, we live 40 miles apart. We just returned on Tuesday from a group trip for two weeks. He called me Wednesday night and during conversation asked when I was coming over - Friday or Saturday night. Thought this was weird because I almost always come over on Friday night and stay until Sunday. And he never plans anything ahead. I just said I didn't know. Wondered if he would inquire again on Thursday when he called me. Sure enough, he asked again, I said I didn't know, and he said "Why don't you come over Saturday?". I asked what he was going to do Friday night - he said just make some shrimp for supper and watch a movie. Friday he calls me to chat, then says he is driving to go eat out at Ryan's or Fuddruckers in nearby town. (He never wants to leave home after 5 or 6 once he has come home he stays, always cooks himself or us if I'm there dinner, is very frugal.) I asked who he's going to dinner with, thought maybe his son. He said by himself. Then he has to go real quick because he has arrived at the place. Should I be suspicious about this? It's like he wanted to be sure I wasn't coming over on Friday. I texted him the next morning that I wouldn't be able to come over this weekend. Do you think I am being overly suspicious?

View related questions: long distance, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your replies.

Any thoughts on how I should address this if he calls? Ladies? Guys?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your replies.

Any thoughts on how I should address this if he calls? Ladies? Guys?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015):

Look, we could all speculate.

Best thing to do is pretend you can't see each other on a friday or saturday or something. Then get your sexy lingerie on go over there on the day that you've agreed you're not seeing each other.

Make sure to arrive late when he's either home alone or home with another woman or at another woman's home.

If he's cheating you can make an informed decision about what to do next. If he's not cheating I'm sure he'll appreciate the surprise of you turning up to 'service him.'

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 January 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIt seems quite weird and yes, I would think something was going on that he is not telling.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much for your answers, that's what I was thinking too. I told my son before I wrote in here and he said maybe I was jumping to conclusions, maybe not. That didn't sound right to me though. What I don't get is does he think I am stupid - that he keeps wanting to know all of sudden what day I'm coming over, then suggest I come over Saturday? Then when I say it's obvious he didn't want to see me Friday, he says no that he wanted me to come over either day. Then calls me when he is driving to a restaurant Friday to eat, claiming he is going to dine alone? Which he never does. Or is he trying to get me jealous or something? Should I contact him and ask him or just keep up our no contact since Saturday (2 days ago)?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (19 January 2015):

TasteofIndia agony auntI don't think you're being overly suspicious. This is all very sketchy. Insisting you come on Saturday, instead of Friday like you usually do - you ask why and he says, "oh no reason, just going to eat some dinner and watch a movie" (um, why would he not want you over for that?). Then, he says he's going to dinner the town over BY HIMSELF? I mean, really? Maybe if he just loves taking himself out to dine, okay - but if this is the first time he's ever decided to dine solo in two years... no. Just no.

I'd proceed very cautiously. If he wants to prove it, he can show you his receipts from his evening (no receipt? The convenience of online banking...)

I'm sorry, the whole thing just reeks of sketchiness to me. But you know him, we don't - whatever your instinct is saying is probably right!

Good luck! Sorry you're in this situation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015):

going out for dinner alone? Is that something he usually does?

I think it's a bit sus to be honest.

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